Reflection on Exodus 20:14 and Matthew 5:27-32

 

The first wedding that I attended was not a real wedding; so I was told anyway.  Chris and Wendy had been sweethearts since first grade.  And, as fifth graders, they had decided that it was time to tie the knot.  So, they approached the local pastor’s son, and convinced him to perform a wedding for them during recess.   

As silly as all of this sounds, the upcoming wedding of Chris and Wendy was a big deal on the playground.  We all waited with anticipation for the big day, which came the very next day. 

With a bouquet of dandelions picked by friends, Wendy walked down the sidewalk…I mean aisle…in order to meet up with Chris, her future husband.  And so, behind the dumpsters of the Kiester Elementary School (because the playground teacher could not see what we were doing when behind the dumpsters), Chris and Wendy were made husband and wife with all the authority that a pastor’s kids with a stolen wedding liturgy from his dad could provide. To seal the deal, Chris and Wendy drew close to each other and held hands.  That was the first wedding I ever attended.

I told my mother about the wedding, and she assured me that it was not a real wedding.  I was not quite so sure.  They were given the monkey bars the next day to play on by themselves as a honeymoon gift from us students.  They were allowed to be on the same team for kickball, they were married after-all.  And, when after a couple of weeks Chris was seen holding hands with another girl on the playground, the devastation that fell upon Wendy was in no way imaginary.  The tears that were wiped from Wendy’s eyes by her friends were very real.  Even as kids, we understood what devotion to another person should look like.  And, even though we did not have the words to express it, we knew what adultery was all about.

“You shall not commit adultery.”  You shall be and shall remain devoted to the ones whom you have promised to be devoted.  “You shall not commit adultery.”

On another occasion, I handed a tissue so that a man could wipe away the tears of betrayal.  He and his wife had married young.  And, though he could imagine spending the rest of his remaining time on this earth with no one else but his wife, she realized that she had never gotten a chance to experience the world.  So, nearly every night as he returned from work, she walked out the door, dressed up with lavish makeup.  “I going dancing with my friends,” she would say closing the door. 

“It is not just dancing with her friends,” the man said to me.  He was right.  It was much more than just dancing with friends. 

“I have given her everything,” he told me.  I provide for her, she does not need to even work.  I buy her clothes.  I cook for her.  I purchased a great house for us.  I give her back rubs.  And, it is like she does not even see me.  Why is she doing this?  She’s forcing me to give her up.  How can I give her up?”  And, the pain and torment that this man went through as he continually rubbed his hands over his face, through his tears, dragging those tears through his hair reminded me again and again of the anguish-filled words of the Lord in Hosea 11:8 as the Lord cries out concerning Israel broken covenant, “How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel?”

In Hosea, the Lord is intentionally portrayed as a spurned spouse, whose stomach turns and twists in knots while waiting for his wife to come home.  “How can I give you up?” the Lord cries as Israel seeks other gods.  “How can I give you up?” the Lord cries as the Lord considers everything that has been done for them.  They were created by the Lord.  They were fed and nourished by the Lord.  They were delivered out of slavery by the Lord.  They were given a tabernacle as a special place to meet one-on-one with the Lord.  What more could the Lord have done?  “How can I give you up?” the Lord cries as the Lord considers the unprecedented possibility of spending some time apart: the exile.

The Israelites took holy places to the Lord and dedicated them to another god of the region: Baal, and it broke God’s heart.  They took Bethel, the very rock where Jacob laid his head and saw visions of angels going up and down out of heaven (a portal between heaven and earth you could say), the place where Jacob spoke with the Lord, and they intentionally ripped that special place out of God’s hands and dedicated it to Baal.  How could God’s people do this?  The book of Hosea clearly depicts Israel’s actions toward God as adultery and prostitution.  The people are holding hands on the playground with another and they have not remained devoted to God to whom they promised to be devoted. 

As you can see, “You shall not commit adultery” has very close ties with the command, “You shall have no other gods.”   God has remained devoted to us, not only throughout history, but also throughout our own lives.  Our lives would be nothing without the Lord. 

God does not commit adultery toward us, but we can certainly commit adultery toward God, putting other things and other commitments first.  We fail, but the Lord does not.  “How precious is your steadfast love, O God!” the Psalmist sings.  The Lord is wholly devoted to us.

And this is the reason that adultery within our own lives is so destructive, not only to our relationships and families, but also to our relationship with God.  If we are people made in the Lord’s image, which we are; and if we are people who are created to carry the name of the Lord…to carry the image of the Lord…in all we do and say, which we are commanded to do; then the devotion we show in our relationships should reflect the devotion that the Lord shows to us.  Does that make sense?

In other words, how are people supposed to know what a holy love that is steadfast and never-ending looks like if we, the people who were made to be the image of God on this earth, fail to display that sort of devotion and love in our relationships?  “You shall not commit adultery.”  You shall be and shall remain devoted to the ones whom you have promised to be devoted.

Jesus takes this even deeper, as he often does.  This sort of devotion is so important to being the people of God, that Jesus thinks we should not only refrain from commit adultery, but we should probably get to the root of why it happens.  “Everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart,” Jesus declares (Matthew 5:28).  And, I think that Jesus would say the same for women in this day and age.  It is the lust for someone else that is at the root of adultery. 

If we hope to be the people of God, which we do, then tear out the eye that causes you to sin Jesus exclaims!  Alright, that seems a little extreme, but you get Jesus’ point, do you not?  Get it under control before it causes more problems.  After-all, adultery always cause more problems. 

It is no coincidence that Jesus talks about divorce in the next few sentences because that is where adultery often leads.  And, Jesus cares a lot about the subject of divorce because if you give up on those whom you promised to be devoted to, then who will care for them?  Who will feed them and keep them safe?  Who will make sure the family stays a family? 

Jesus does not want things to fall apart. Jesus is all about putting things together.  Listen, God pulled us together from scattered grains of dust when we were created.  God pulled God’s people together in a great procession and rescued them from Egypt.  God pulls you close to those you love, but with whom you had a falling out, through forgiveness.  And, Jesus opens his arms wide to draw us all together as Colossians teaches, “[Jesus reconciled] to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross” (Colossians 1:20). 

Jesus loves us.  Jesus is devoted to us.  And Jesus cares that we be devoted to others.

And, just in case adultery has shaped your own world and own your past, and guilt and shame are lurking near, I want to remind you that the Lord is still devoted to you.  Jesus has died on the cross for you.  You are held in love forever, making you free to try again to be that person of devotion that God created you to be.  You do not believe me?  I have a story for you.  It is from the gospel of John.

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, ⁴they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. ⁵Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. ⁷When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. ⁹When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. ¹⁰Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” ¹¹She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” (John 8:3-11)

Never forget that God is devoted to you.  God loves you with a love that can overcome failure and erase sin.  God forgives you again and again.  God is devoted to you, and that is why God cares so much about your devotion to others.  “Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” 

“You shall not commit adultery.”  You shall be and shall remain devoted to the ones whom you have promised to be devoted.