Reflection on Exodus 20:12 and John 19:25b-27

 

“Honor your father and your mother.” 

 Following close behind showing honor and devotion to God, honoring your father and your mother is one of the “weightiest” commands given by God.  I mean that literally.  The root of the Hebrew word for “honor” means “weighty,” as in “very serious” and “important.”  Honoring your father and your mother is a very weighty task, because just as there is no end to the gratitude that we can give God for life and every good thing, so too there is no end to the gratitude that we can give God’s co-creators; our parents. 

Take a moment to reflect on all of the things for which you are grateful regarding your parents.

The Bible says that we are created in the image of God, “male and female” we were created in God’s image.  And, so when I reflect on my own Dad, I think the strongest quality that I see resembling God was his absolute care and devotion for the outcast and the underdog. 

As a pastor, my Dad would go to bat for any person who others stomped down.  With a righteous sort of anger, my Dad would confront those who had no problem pushing others to the sidelines and who showed no remorse pushing the lowly down, especially in the churches that he served.  He also had no problem calling these church bullies names.  “The Old Battle-ax,” “The Old Bat,” and “Alligator” were some of my Dad’s chosen names for his foes, along with a couple that I am not brave enough to relate to you in church.

I am not saying that my Dad was Jesus.  Just from the nicknames you can tell that he was one of the most irreverent reverends that ever existed.  No one would have mistaken him for a holy man.  But, where the heart of Jesus shined through in his character was whenever he would do as Jesus did and protect the lowliest ones and protect the fallen sinner from the self-righteous and unforgiving scorn of those who considered themselves “faithful.” 

My Dad was not worried about making everyone happy, and therefore was also not worried about his length of service at any given church.  Like Jesus did to the Pharisees, he would call out the hypocrites, and publicly lift up the undervalued.  He was loved by some, and much less loved by others.  At least, he was never nailed to any of the crosses hanging in his churches.

I think about my Dad’s concern for God’s justice and love of the lowly a lot.  It is honorable.  It is worthy of respect.  It is worthy of emulation, if only I were so brave.  Honor your father and your mother, because they carry God to you.

My Mom is very different in temperament from my Dad.  She too cares for the lowly and has unending empathy for the outcast, but she shows it in a nurturing and self-sacrificial way.  When I called her the other day, she had a house absolutely full of little ones.  It was noisy.  It sounded stressful.  It is not what my Mom expected to be doing in retirement.  But, that is what self-sacrificial people do in order to help others out.  They reflect the love of Jesus for the little ones, and they do anything to help someone in need, even if the rowdy children nail them to a cross while doing it!  It looks a lot like Jesus.  It looks a lot like God.

Such love and self-sacrifice is honorable.  It is worthy of respect.  It is worthy of emulation.  Honor you father and your mother, because they carry God to you.

So, in the perfect world, our parents would look a lot like God and sound a lot like God and would act a lot like God.  And, children would listen to their parents and learn from them and emulate them and it would all create a community of Godly people.  And, when we are all emulating God together, our days will be long in the land that the Lord our God has given us.  All will be good.

Parents will care for their children and teach them.  In turn, adult children will care for parents when it is time.  Children such as Jesus will make certain that their mothers are cared for. 

While hanging on the cross, his last breathes lingering close, Jesus uses his precious time and his precious breathe to ensure that his mother is cared for.  Jesus says to his mother, “Woman, here is your son,” directing her attention to the disciple that he loved.  And, then Jesus said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.”  When parents are honored, and cared for, the days in the land are, indeed, long and prosperous.

I know.  It is hard.  It is hard for children to trust that their parents are right, and it is hard for children to listen, and to follow.  Adam and Eve could not do it, and their only parent was God!  Our parents are not perfect, but Adam and Eve had God!  It is hard.  In fact, the commandment exists because it is hard.

I know.  It is hard.  If is hard to care for your parents in old age.  Parents listen about as well as adolescents, and forget to do the most basic of things just about as often. 

“Mom, where are your car keys?”

“They are in the fridge.”

“Why are they in the fridge?”

“So that I can find them in the morning.”

I know that it is hard.  But, never forget that your parents were formed and molded in the image of God for you.  They are God’s gift to you, so that you would have a chance to live and grow in the ways of the Lord; so that “your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” 

“Honor your father and your mother.”

I know that it is hard.  I also know that a few of you still remain conflicted because it is true that not every parent shows the glory of God in what they do and say.  Again, this commandment is an ideal.  If parents are Godly, showing God’s image in all they do and say, then children should listen and honor them so that they too can be Godly and learn to show God’s image in all they do and say.  Again, that is the ideal, but frankly, there are some parents that fall well short of the ideal.

The Bible talks about them also.  When referring to bad parents, the Bible say, “[God] does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth [generation]” (Exodus 34:7b). 

Now, do not worry here.  The Bible is not saying that you will be punished because you had rotten parents.  Rather, God is trying to impress upon us that each generation will be held accountable if they continue the mess that their rotten parents created.  And, parents can certainly pass on a rotten mess.

You have seen this.  You have seen children follow the same wrong path, and make the same mistakes as their parents.  It happens all the time.  Even in the Bible we see that the mighty King David’s children follow in his adulterous footsteps, ruining women’s lives created havoc in the nation every step of the way.  You have also seen children who have had to continually clean up their parent’s messes.  You have seen young children acting as the grown up because, well frankly, someone has too.

Obviously, the command to “Honor your father and your mother” is not a command to jump off the cliff just because your parents did.  If parents cannot at least bear a passing resemblance of God, then there is no expectation that they be honored in the ways that we normally would. 

For those who struggle with less than good parents, never forget, God’s love is not absent just because your parent’s love may be.  In fact, God’s love and God’s power can inspire children to turn the generational curse around.  God will try again and again, as long as it takes, to turn things around. 

God looks with love on you who have not had the most honorable of parents.  God looks on you with an unending, steadfast love.  The Bible says that God is gracious and compassionate; slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  The Bible promises that to those who honor God and have no choice but to choose God as their parent, God will show steadfast love to the thousandth of generation.

Rather than repeat the mistakes of our parents, we can view those mistake as a gift, as a warning, so that we do not repeat those mistakes and suffer in the same way. 

We can walk in the ways of love.  We can walk in the ways of God.  We can desire to follow Jesus.  After-all, parents desire nothing more than for their children to become honorable people of God also, that their days may also be long and good.

“Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”