One day Peter came up to Jesus and asked him the very question that most of us ask at some point in our lives of faith: “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” (NRSV, Matthew 18:21).
After-all, it is hard to dole out forgiveness multiple times when a person keeps failing in the same way over and over again, burning bridges everywhere they turn. It is also hard to watch that person hurt themselves in the process, over and over again. It is painful even.
Is there some point, Jesus, when we can just say enough is enough? Is there some point, Jesus, where you say enough is enough?
On the other hand, if there was a point where Jesus ever said, “Enough is enough!” to forgiving us, we would never be able to sing about the one who “saved a wretch like me.” Jesus did save a wretch like me and a wretch like you and a jerk like your nasty neighbor.
Jesus tells Peter that he must forgive, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times’” (NRSV, Matthew 18:22).
After-all, that seventy-seventh time might be the one time that finally changes a person’s life.
There was a man, true story by the way, who embezzled over $70,000 from a charity that he was helping to set up. Now, he had no intention of embezzling that money. It all started when he accidentally pulled out the wrong card to pay for a meal. He intended to pay it right back the next day, but when nobody noticed the money missing, he just let it kind of slip. From there, it was a hotel room here, and a gas fill-up there, all of which he fully intended to pay back. But, as these things go, it got out of hand, and he started to see a total amount that needed to be paid back that far exceeded his ability to do so.
The man was caught and sentenced to two years in prison, plus fines. His generous victims who gave large amounts of their savings intended for charity were out of luck. They had lost their $70,000. Years later, when everyone had written him off, he very publically stated that he was sorry to those he had defrauded. He asked for their forgiveness, but expected to get none because, in his own words, “I wouldn’t be understanding of me. I wouldn’t forgive me.”
But, do you know what? Jesus is serious about this forgiveness thing. Jesus gives multiple chances to for people to repent and turn around their lives. Look at the instructions that he gives us, his followers, regarding attempting to provide forgiveness. If someone sins against you, you should take it up with them one on one, and hopefully they will repent and receive forgiveness.
This first step is a big one for a lot of people in the Christian community in India. Rarely, will you ever see a public rebuke of someone. What you do see are people inviting other people to go have some tea in the next room, and it is there, in private, that repentance and forgiveness happens, one-on-one. No one else even knows.
This is so different from what I see and what I am tempted to do myself. Most of us tend to talk our problems over with people who are not the person we should be talking to. In the same way, those who are technologically savvy will vent about anonymous idiots on social media, or over the phone…but we all know who is being talked about. Gossip feels good and it makes me feel better, but it has nothing to do with love or forgiveness.
So,
let us say that you do overcome the temptation to gossip and that you do stick
with Jesus’ love of people, and you do go to them “Indian style” and pull them
aside for tea. If they do not repent,
Jesus urges you to give them another shot at seeking love and forgiveness. He says to bring someone along with when you speak
to them the next time, so that there are more people to give support to the
whole situation. And, if they still do not
repent and accept the gift of forgiveness, then bring the larger faith community
in so that the community might be able to help bring them around.
Do you notice how in each of these circumstances Jesus urges more and more contact; more and more support surrounding the person? This is the opposite of writing off the person. Alcohol and drug interventions seem to work in this spirit. Those who love you, surround you when confronting you about your substance abuse. They are right there to be supportive as you take your first steps in a new direction toward healing.
Do note that these supportive people do not look anything like family members wielding guns your direction. I just wanted to be clear about that. Hey, it has happened…I’m just saying. For Jesus, this is about love.
And, look at all of the chances that Jesus gives us to repent, receive forgiveness, and start our lives again through this process that he lays out. But, even if none of this works and we still cannot see that we were in the wrong and we still cannot see a better way to live life, Jesus is not through with us yet.
I do admit that when looking at the Bible it might seem as though Jesus is through with us. If confronting sin in this way does not pan out, Jesus says to treat the offending person as “a Gentile and a tax collector.” This seems to be the “enough is enough” permission that we have been looking for. But, that would not be biblically accurate or spiritually right.
After-all, to whom does Jesus say that he is sent to minister to? Who does Jesus say that he is sent to serve? It is a tax collector that Jesus invites to follow him. It is the gentiles to whom the apostles are sent to baptize and teach. The person who is trapped by sin is not to be disposed of; they are to be the target of our love and the target for teaching the basics of following Jesus. They obviously need to start again.
Have you ever had to start again from scratch because the first time did not work out? Did you ever forget the sugar in the cookies, or have you ever mistaken the baking powder for baking soda? Did you ever grab the wrong wrench set from the shop and need to go back and try again?
Sometimes, Jesus does that with us. Sometimes, we did not latch onto the faith the first time around. Sometimes our faith is like a seed that falls on rocky soil and it seems to shoot up fine, but it soon withers under the sun because the soil is too rocky.
Sometimes, Jesus just needs to start with us from the very beginning so that what might grow after will flourish under the love and grace that he provides. Sometimes, trees that bear no fruit need to be cut down and replanted. Sometimes, we need a reset in life, but a reset…a restart…a replanting does not equal disposing of. Jesus’ love is too great to just give up and dispose of us. Forgiveness is too powerful to just give up.
The people who were defrauded of over $70,000 wrote the man who wasted away their money after his apology was publically released. Touchingly, they asked for his forgiveness for years of disregarding him. They forgave him of defrauding them, and told him that they wish him a good night’s sleep from now on, free from the guilt. They followed Jesus and forgave the man the 77th time, and the man’s life changed dramatically.
How can life not change when the power of Jesus is with you? How can life not change when two or three join you in Jesus name, Jesus’ transforming forgiveness becoming very real and very present?
Jesus did save a wretch like me and a wretch like you and a jerk like your nasty neighbor. And, this saving, this forgiveness, changes everything. So, as a follower of Jesus, I urge you to give it a try…really. Forgive many times over, because Jesus has forgiven you many times over.
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