Reflection on Romans 12:9-21

 

“What does the Bible mean by ‘love’ anyway?” the teen asked during a Bible study. 

For a few moments, probably a few moments too long, I was at a loss for words.  How could a person not know what love was? 

Then again, this girl grew up in a situation where she saw mostly arguments coming from the mouths of her parents, too wrapped up in their hatred of one another to remember that she even existed.  Maybe it was true; maybe she had no idea what love looked like. 

Come to think of it, did I?  Do not get me wrong, I had grown up surrounded by love.  Certainly I knew what love was about, but could I put it into words any better than she? 

The silent pause in conversation was becoming more than uncomfortable as the students shifted and she continued to stare, waiting for an answer. 

How do you talk about the unfathomable depths of Christ’s love to someone who likely had not even experienced the basic love that most of us get from our parents?  “Maybe, I should start with what she knows,” I thought.  It was a little presumptuous on my part to assume she had not experienced love, but I took a stab in the dark and suggested that we start by talking about what love is not.

So, I am going to do that right now for you also.  It is not that I think you have not experienced love.  I already know that most of you have.  But, at times our discussions of love in American Christianity sounds a lot like “being kind to one another.” 

Do not hear me wrong, I have nothing against kindness!  But, kindness does not even come close to describing the unfathomable love of Jesus Christ our Lord. 

So, I will do with you, what I did with this girl: I will read to you the Apostle Paul’s treatise on love in its opposite, negative way.  In others words, everywhere the Bible connotes “love,” I will try to convince you to “hate.”  By doing so, you will quickly see just how radical and amazing Christ’s love is; the love by which we try to model our own lives.

Here is the opposite of Romans 12:9-21:

Do not worry if your love is fake (hold your enemies close); embrace what weak people consider evil, hold fast to your own concerns…you come first; go ahead, hate one another with mutual distain; outdo one another in showing contempt. 

Do not lag in zeal, be steadfast in your hatred; ignore the Lord.  

Do not feel ashamed if you rejoice when other people despair.  Turn away when people suffer; after-all they are difficult to be around. There is no need to pray; it does nothing.

Forget about the needs of others in the faith community, your needs always come first; refuse to welcome outsiders and foreigners who will only use up your hard earned resources.  

Hate those who would do you harm; hate and curse them, you have no need of them. 

Ignore the joy of others, laugh in the face of those who dare to weep. Worry about yourself first; think of yourself first, and associate with those who are like you and think like you; do not let anyone win an argument against you.  

You have to repay evil for evil, and do not be afraid to stoop down to their level, no matter what others may think. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, defend yourself against everyone.  Avenge yourselves and do not let others walk over you.  Be like God, for God is a God of wrath; as it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

"If your enemies are hungry, let them starve; if they are thirsty, don’t waste time getting them something drink; for by doing this you will show them that you are serious and you have not forgotten your principles."  

Do not be a pansy or a snowflake, for evil can only be overcome with an equal amount of power.

“So, that’s the opposite of what the Bible says?” the girl asked. 

“Yes, that is the opposite of what the Bible says.  The very thing that God cares about the most, love, is the opposite of all of that.”

“But, I believe some of those things,” she said looking down. 

“I know.  So do I.  Isn’t it good that Jesus’ love for us is better than all that?  That is why he is our savior.  That is why we follow him.”

Now, I would never tell anyone to “be steadfast in your hatred and ignore the Lord.”  I certainly do not believe that, and neither do you.  But, I do admit that my beliefs and my actions are not always on the same page.   

I can be quite steadfast in my hatred and resentment of others even though I preach otherwise almost weekly.  I can easily delete from my life people who have hurt me and I certainly would not grill them some supper and offer them a beer on the back deck. 

If I am honest with myself, I often do think about my needs first.  I do ignore the needs of others if loving them would be far too inconvenient.  You know that person you should have called a long time ago?  Well, I have a list of people too. 

So, guilt is what I feel when I look at these words from the Bible too closely.  But, the Apostle Paul’s intention was not to leave you with a feeling of guilt.  Indeed, the book of Romans moves quite quickly from talking about our shortcomings to the message of good news. 

We are saved, not because our lives are filled with examples of perfect love, but because our lives are not.  Each one of us, Paul insists, is in the same, sinking boat.  But, faith fills those of us who see Jesus saving the sinking boat, despite our shortcomings, despite if we deserve to sink.  And, if we look closely at how Jesus keeps the boat from sinking, there is no doubt that we will try to do the same.

So, let us return to what Christ’s love actually looks like.  Let us return to these words from the Apostle Paul that describe what Christ’s deep love for the unlovable is all about.  After-all, it is a love that saved the world. 

And, it is a love that taught a teenage girl that the world could be so much different.  The girl printed out Paul’s words describing love and taped them to her wall so that she would see them every morning.  These are the words of love that shaped the start of each day.  And, they are the worlds that help bring the word “love” from meaning “a nice, kind feeling,” to very real actions that can save the world.

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." No, "if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

(NRSV, Romans 12:9-21)