Reflection on John 13:31-35

Love is not easy. 

Sure, it seems pretty easy when you rip Jesus’ instruction to love right out of the story told by John.  “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another” (NRSV, John 13:34). 

That’s right, no problem; just go out and love people and all will be good and well and perfect.  Sounds easy enough right?  Except that it is not easy.  It is not easy for us, nor was it necessarily a piece of cake for Jesus either.

You see, if you put this demand to love back into its story you will see that it fits right between the start of Judas’ betrayal and the prediction of Peter’s denial.  This demand to love falls right in the middle of hurt and abandonment caused by some of his closest friends. 

So, no, it is not easy for Jesus to feed Judas and Peter and to bend and serve them by washing their feet.  Jesus knows exactly what they are about to do.  Judas and Peter are not deserving.  Judas and Peter are not good.  Judas and Peter are the ones who will cause pain and heart ache. 

Yet, Jesus bends down and serves them anyway.  Jesus loves them anyway.

You see what I mean.  Love is not easy.

For years an acquaintance of mine has vocally spoken against those who are in the LGBTQIA community.  He has detailed vocally how he understands that none of the lifestyle that he sees within that community is supported by the Bible.  He has left organizations that have accepted any of these people.  He has uprooted and pulled his family from churches that have not taken a strong stance of condemnation. 

Then the day came when, in her late teens, his daughter (his beloved little girl with the cute smile and spunky attitude) let him and his wife know that she no longer thinks that she is actually a girl.  She told them that she was now going to identify as a boy. 

She had already dressed as a boy for years, but that tomboyness (if that is even a word) was always a part of her cuteness.  All the rest was utterly out of the blue.  It was a shock to say the least.  What was he going to do now…now that it was someone who he loved and raised from their very first moments on earth? 

You see what I mean?  It is not easy to love.  Love is not some fairytale lifted out from the reality of life.  Love is always in the trenches.  Love is always dirty.  It is not easy to love.  Yet, Jesus still loved and served the one who betrayed him and the one who denied following him, and he demands that his followers to do the same.

Another acquaintance loved dearly her teenage girl’s boyfriend.  The mother loved seeing the two together.  She loved how happy they were when they went to the amusement park, holding hands while they wandered between the rides.  She loved how in love they were as they snuggled on the porch swing at night.  She loved how the boy made her daughter feel happy about herself.

The mother got to know the boyfriend very well, and would pack him some food before he went back home because home life was rough and there were no guarantees that he would be fed.  She invested in the boy, hoping that he could rise above the cracked nature of his family.  She dearly loved the boy.

Then, the night came that the daughter broke up with the boy.  That was the same night that the newly ex-boyfriend took out his pocketknife and murdered the teenage daughter.

Love is not easy.  Two years after the trial and conviction, she received a letter from the prison.  It was the boyfriend.  He wanted to talk to her.

The mother stressed about the possibility of visiting the prison.  She stressed about going to see the one who took her little girl away from her.  She could not imagine looking into his eyes once again and listening to anything that this betrayer had to say.

It is not easy to love.  Love is not some fairytale lifted out from the reality of life.  Love is always in the trenches.  Love is always dirty.  It is not easy to love.  Yet, Jesus still loved and served the one who betrayed him and the one who denied following him, and he demands that his followers to do the same.

Those stories are a little heavy, are they not?  The stories are absolutely true, both of them, but they are heavy.  Therefore, we will take just a momentary break to be Bible nerds together.  Please join me in a little Bible Geekdom, because I want to show you something. 

First you need to understand that in the Greek language, the language in which the New Testament was written, the order of the words and sentences can convey meaning to the reader…not just what the words mean.  In this passage about love, you get the chance to see how that works right in the English. 

In Jesus’ teaching we read:

“I give you a new commandment,

             that you love one another.

Just as I have loved you,

            you also should love one another.” 

Notice how that part about loving one another is actually written twice.  It brackets and highlights the phrase, “Just as I have loved you.”  It is as if Jesus’ love for us is the sun just coming up from behind the horizon, and once it is up, it spills light on everything in all directions.  That is what this passage about love looks like.  Jesus’ love rises, spills in all directions, and because we have all been touched by that love, we too love in the exact same way.

That is right; we love in the exact same way.  If Jesus serves those who would betray and deny, then we also serve those who would betray and deny.  If Jesus would go to the cross for a sinner, then we too go to the cross for a sinner. 

Love is not easy.  It is not just the heartwarming moments spent snuggled by summer fire pits under a canvas of stars.  It is not just the first glances at the precious face of the newborn child.  It is not just the first kiss of two young lovers on a summer night.  It is all of that, but so much more.

Love is not easy.  Jesus’ love looks a lot like going to the prison, facing your child’s murderer, listening to his tear-filled plea of forgiveness repeatedly, and then deciding to be there for him in the following years because, remember, he still has no one who gives a damn about him at home.  Love is not easy, but it is life-changing.

Love is not easy.  Jesus’ love looks a lot like facing your beloved daughter who went against her family’s values, and still loving her, spending time with her, and supporting her anyway.  Sorry, supporting “him” anyway.  After-all, Jesus still loved and served the one who betrayed him and the one who denied following him, and he demands that his followers to do the same.  Jesus went to the cross out of love for the world, and he demands that we do the same.

Love is not easy, but Jesus never promises that it will be easy.  But, there is little that is life-changing about an easy sort of love.  There are, however, lives to be changed with that messy sort of love that Jesus talks about.  There are lives to be changed when we share Jesus’ love with those who God has placed in our lives.  There are lives to be changed when we show that love in even the messiest and toughest of situations.

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (NRSV, John 14:34-35).