Reflection on Matthew 18:21-35

Matthew 18:21-35 (NRSVue)

21 Peter came and said to [Jesus,] “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.

  23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him, 25 and, as he could not pay, the lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions and payment to be made. 26 So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him by the throat he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. 31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. 32 Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. 35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Reflection

“How often should I forgive?  As many as seven times?” (Matthew 18:21)

“Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22).

Seven is a lot if you think about it.  If the restaurant messed up my order seven times in a row, I wouldn’t be going back.  In fact, if they messed it up three times in a row, I would be done.  I do not think that I am alone.  In our culture we have the notion of “three strikes and you are out.”  It is a baseball metaphor, translated over into our culture and our laws.  If you break the same law three times, you do not get another chance.  You will have to do the jail time or pay the fine.  There is no more forgiveness. 

Considering that, seven is a lot.  In fact, the same way that the number three just feels right in our culture for the amount of chances someone gets to get it right, so too seven felt right and complete in Peter’s time.  Seven was the magic number.  Seven meant wholeness.  Six felt like it was seven’s younger brother, and eight was seven’s older sister with makeup pancaked all over her face; just being way, way over the top.  Seven felt just right.

So, Peter offers that maybe seven times should be the amount of times that a person should forgive someone who hurts us and then comes back seeking forgiveness.  It makes sense.  It seems generous even.

Jesus disagrees.

“Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22).  As if seventy-seven times was not bad enough, it is possible that is an incorrect translation.  The true translation might actually be, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22).  In case you are wondering, that is 490 times that you need to forgive the same person. 

This is not the first time that forgiveness for 490 times can be found in the Bible.  In Genesis 4:23-24, Lamech, a murderous person, declares that if his ancestor Cain was avenged seven times by those who would harm him, surely God would avenge him seventy times seven times: that is 490 times.  Jesus is intentionally drawing our minds to Lamech when he talks about how many times we must forgive.  It is like saying in our own time that God can even forgive Hitler.  God can even forgive Lamech.  Jesus is proposing a shocking amount of forgiveness.  But sometimes we need a shocking amount of forgiveness.

That makes me remember a young woman at a funeral.  As most of you know, I prefer that a family member or a friend offer up the eulogy instead of myself.  After-all, it is family and friends who know their loved one the best.  And at this funeral a daughter offered to speak the eulogy for her father. 

As she walked up to the front of the funeral home, she was dressed well in a business suite and had the demeanor of a manager or CEO.  One of the first things that she mentioned was that just ten years prior she probably would have walked up there, dirty, in tatters of clothes with deep sunken eyes.  “I was doing everything I could to ruin my life” she said.  “And more to the point, I was actively working on ruining my father’s life.  I was stealing again and again to support my terrible habits.  I even stole my late mother’s anniversary necklace from my father’s nightstand and sold it that very night.  But, no matter how many times I stole and said I was sorry, my father never gave up on me.  Like Jesus, he forgave and forgave and forgave again.  One day it finally clicked, I stopped my destructive ways, and my father helped me get back on my feet.  For that…”  She broke down into tears.  Through the tears she finished, “For that I will forever be grateful.  I hope that I can become even a fraction of the kind of person that he was.”

I do not think that anything better could have ever been said about someone at a funeral than what was said about her father.  He was forgiving in the way that Jesus meant forgiveness.  Whether or not to forgive is not a question followers of Jesus think about.  Forgiving 490 times means that we live a life where forgiveness is simply a given.

Forgiveness seems to be a given for God after-all.  How many times did God’s people fail and God allowed them to try again and again?  I have not counted, but it must be hundreds, if not thousands of times.  For God, forgiveness is a given in life.  1 John 1:9 reinforces this truth about God: “If we confess our sins, God who is faithful and just will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  Forgiveness is a way of life.  Forgiveness came from Jesus’ lips as he hung on the cross at the very end of his life, his enemies surrounding him with scorn: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

Love like that, forgiveness like that, is deep and powerful and eternal.  Forgiveness is the heart of God.  Forgiveness is the base of existence upon which we stand.

I think that is why the parable that Jesus tells about the king who forgives a slave is so powerful.  In it a slave falls to his knees and begs for mercy when he finds out that all he has will be sold to settle his enormous debts with the king, even his wife and children will be sold.  Matthew 18:27 reads, “And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt.”  The king showed the man forgiveness.

That would have been a nice story about forgiveness if it stopped right there.  But this is not a nice story, and it does not stop there.  You see, the Bible says “that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him by the throat he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’  Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’  But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt” (Matthew 18:28-30).  The king was not very happy and “handed [the slave] over to be tortured until he would pay this entire debt” (Matthew 18:34).  Then Jesus comments, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).

Just the other day, someone asked me about this very verse with trepidation.  “I have a hard time forgiving someone who hurt me.  Is the Lord angry with me?  Will I be punished?”  When the story is about us being forgiven, it is one of the greatest, most joyful stories in the Bible.  But, when we get to the part about forgiving others, the story can get…well…as a classmate of mine always said, “that was uncomfortable.” 

Here is the thing.  If forgiveness is the very foundation of our lives upon which we stand, then refusing to forgive while standing on forgiveness is kind of like living a lie, is it not? 

Let us see if this helps.  I once heard about a quilting group that loved to get together and make quilts for the homeless throughout the world.  It was a wonderful group with a wonderful ministry.  They would place the quilts over the backs of the pews one Sunday each year before the quilts were sent away so that those beautiful, patchwork creations could be appreciated and covered in blessing and prayer during worship. 

Well, there was one member of this group who came every week, sat on a folding chair in the middle of the quilters, and very obviously and intentionally did not quilt.  She sat and complained the whole time while everyone made creations that would keep people warm.  “Why would anyone take so much time for a homeless person?  Just buy a cheap blanket at the Dollar General.  It will be just as warm.”  And if she was ever asked to help grab some more strips of fabric for someone she would act as if bringing over the fabric was like pulling the Titanic up from the bottom of the sea.  Most of the time she would just pretend like she did not hear the request.

“Why are you even here if you don’t like quilting?” one of the quilters finally asked.

And I think that forgiveness works much the same way.  Why are we a part of a forgiveness group, Christianity, if we have no interest in forgiving?  Christians gather in forgiveness so that they can go out and forgive.  It is that simple.

So, yes, sometimes it is hard to forgive.  And yes, the people do not deserve to be forgiven.  But Jesus did not forgive us because we deserved it.  Jesus forgave us because Jesus is forgiving.  Therefore, we do not forgive because someone deserves it.  We forgive because forgiveness is a part of who we are; it is who God created us to be.

And who knows, maybe one day someone will stand up at your funeral and say that they are where they are in life because you never gave up on them and you were always ready to forgive.  And standing beside you, looking down on the scene, God will say to you, “Well done good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).