Reflection on Romans 7:15-25a

 

Romans 7:15-25a (NRSVue)

¹⁵ I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶ Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ But in fact it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸ For I know that the good does not dwell within me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do the good lies close at hand, but not the ability. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells within me.
  ²¹ So I find it to be a law that, when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. ²² For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, ²³ but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. ²⁴ Wretched person that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? ^25a Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Reflection

“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15).

Slamming down my golf club after slicing my ball far, far into the weeds my internship supervising pastor brought his club up against his shoulder, turned to walk away and simply said, “Another Romans 7:15 shot.”  I stared at him, wandering off into the weeds to help me find my ball, wondering what he was talking about. I caught up to him and asked.

“You know, Romans 7:15: ‘I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.’  You wanted to hit the ball far and straight, right?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“You knew that you should take a nice and easy swing to hit the ball far and straight, right?”

“Yes.”

“But you decided at the very last moment to try to smash the ball as hard and far as you could, am I right?”

“Yes.”

“It didn’t work, did it?  That was a Romans 7:15 shot.  Don’t worry, you will do it again and again and again.”

Well, that was not exactly very comforting.  It was as if smashing golf balls into the weeds was going to be my life!  I can get better at this, can’t I? 

I did not get better.  He was right.  I did it again and again, even though I said to myself, “Don’t smash the ball…Don’t smash the ball.”  At the last second, nearly each and every time, I would decide, “I’m going to smash the ball anyway.”  Why did I do that?  The result was almost always me fishing around in the weeds. 

But here is the thing: the couple of times I connected with the golf ball perfectly, taking me all the way to the green, was enough to make me do it again and again.  Those couple of times, and the cheering from friends that came along with these couple of great shots, were enough to convince me that the correct way was not necessarily the best way.

Do you know people for whom that is their motto?  The correct way is not necessarily the best way.  Do you sometimes live that way?

My internship pastor knew better.  He calmly and carefully hit the ball each time.  It did not go as far as mine, but neither did he have to chop through the weeds.  He won every game.  Smashing the ball was not his Romans 7:15 issue.  “Don’t worry Jira, I have my own Romans 7:15 moments.  We all do.”

And that sort of sums up life.  We all know the rules to do things right, we just do not necessarily follow the rules. 

Biblical scholar Ralph Jacobson once told the story of his youngest boy during devotion time at supper.  The family was working through the ten commandments out of Luther’s Small Catechism and they had arrived at, “you shall not covet your neighbor’s property.”  His young boy asked what “covet” meant?  The older sister wisely explained that it means “wanting something that someone else has.  Like when you wanted your friend’s new bike even though you have a perfectly good one.  That is coveting.  Do you understand?” 

The boy replied, “Yes, I understand,” and then promptly turned to his mother and asked, “Can you put that bike on my Christmas list?” 

It is strange, but sometimes knowing the rules makes you want to do the very thing that you know you should not.  We know in our heads what is good and right (not coveting our neighbor’s stuff…being content with what God has given us), but we fail in our flesh to actually accomplish what we know to be right.  Paul puts it this way in Romans:

“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Romans 7:15).

And further on Paul continues…

“For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members” (Romans 7:22-23). 

The little quirk in human nature that Paul is pointing out is sometimes described as the inability to say “no.”

Of course, we understand that saying, “no” can be a very healthy thing in many ways. 

Saying “no” to the urge to eat more than you need is a simple way to keep your weight under control.  I think that most of us understand that. 

Saying “no” to going out with friends when you need to study for the exam will undoubtedly help you succeed in school. 

Saying “no” to the urge to rush on the highway may save your life. 

Saying “no” to screaming at someone else will probably make sure that you continue to have a loving relationship with them.

I hope that I am not opening some hidden treasures of wisdom here.  All these things are obvious.  But there is one thing that all of these have in common: none are easy.  You just try not getting mad the next time that you get mad!

Just because the rules are not easy does not mean they are bad.  Rules that seek the best for me and those around me are good.  Most of us agree that the rules are good.  Paul agrees: “For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.  Wretched person that I am!” (Romans 7:22-24).

I constantly find myself doing those things that harm rather than help!  Now, if we all followed the God’s good law, we would all live in peace and health.  Imagine what a wonderful world we could have if everyone just followed the rules.  It is Isaiah’s vision found in Isaiah 11:6. “The wolf shall live with the lamb; the leopard shall lie down with the kid; the calf and the lion will feed together” (Isaiah 11:6).  Rednecks shall hold hands with Boston lawyers and skip together through the fields of daisies.

As much as I want that world, Paul says that even this vision is not enough to stop me from doing what may cause harm to myself or others.  “Wretched person that I am!” he screams (Romans 7:24).

Of course, people who do not struggle with your particular issue will undoubtedly ask, “Why don’t you just say ‘no’?”

As if it were that easy.

For some people, not stealing is just as hard as me not slicing the golf ball into the weeds.

For some people, not sabotaging the relationship is just as hard as me not saying “no” to the Resees Peanut Butter Cup.

For some people, not keeping their eye on God, “You shall have no other gods,” is simply impossible because they are so lost that they do not even know who God truly is.  They will follow anything or anyone who seems to make any sort of sense to them, no matter how ungodly that one may be.

Just say no.  No one needs to tell us that because we tell it to ourselves over and over again.  “Just say ‘no” this time!” the voice inside our head says.  “You can do it this time,” we say over and over again to ourselves.  And when we fail, yet again?  Well, a classmate of mine once summed it up perfectly.  When his test was returned to him with a bad score, he just sat there in his desk, hitting his forehead with his fist repeating “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

If I could go back in time, I would say to that kids, “Don’t worry. I have my own Romans 7:15 moments too.  We all do.” 

That makes me think of 1 John 1:8-9.

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, God who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9). 

Maybe, it is fine to come to the realization that we just can’t fix ourselves.  After-all how are we going to trust in the Lord if we can do it all ourselves?  Here is the truth: we cannot do it all.  The Holy Spirit knows that.  The Holy Spirit uses our inability to fix ourselves to draw us closer to the one who can fix us and make us whole.  It seems that only when we accept that we have Romans 7:15 moments, do we finally reach out and grasp onto Jesus Christ, who overcomes limitations, sin, and death.

The first step in 12 step recovery is admitting we are powerless over our addiction (over our inability to get it right, over our inability to fix ourselves).  We admit that our lives have become unmanageable and that we need someone other than ourselves to move forward.  It is true for all of us.  My Romans 7:15 moment may not be addiction, but I still cannot overcome my struggles alone.  We all need someone else.  We all need Christ. 

Maybe when we finally cling to Christ and maybe when we see that Christ carries us through our Romans 7:15 moments, we can finally have a Romans 7:25 moment and shout: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25).