Reflection on Matthew 1:18-25 (Sunday, December 21st, 2025)

 

Matthew 1:18-25 (NRSVue)

18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

 23 “Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son,

  and they shall name him Emmanuel,”

which means, “God is with us.” 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had given birth to a son, and he named him Jesus.

Reflection

Now the birth of her child took place in this way.  First, just a note: though the wording of the story reflects that of the story of Jesus’ birth as found in Matthew, the teenage girl in this story did not give birth to the savior of the world.  And though her name was “Mary” and her boyfriend’s name was “Joe,” they are not to be confused with Mary and Joseph from the scriptures.

With that clear, the birth of Mary’s child took place in this way.  Mar, as her friends called her, had a boyfriend, Joe.  But Joe was not the father of the child.  It was not possible.  Joe was a righteous and shy guy and had never slept with anyone.  Nor was the birth of her child a miraculous mystery as depicted in the pictures within the center pages of Mar’s Bible.  There was nothing mysterious about it.  The pregnancy was the result of a series of bad choices at a party one night.

“Well, there was nothing to be done about that now,” she thought to herself as she stared at the results on the pregnancy test.  She was full of so much fear.  Mar feared the reaction of her parents.  They would be so disappointed and scared for her.  Mar feared the reaction of those in her church.  What would they think of her now?  Mar feared more than anything the look on Joe’s face.  She would have to tell him eventually.  It is not something that could be hidden for long.  And Joe was such a good guy.  It was not right for her to simply remain silent.

Mar grabbed her Bible for some comfort and guidance.  She wondered how Mary felt when she had to face her parents and when she had to tell Joseph that she was unexpectedly pregnant.  Of course, Mary had a divine messenger to deliver her message.  She only had a cheap piece of plastic to deliver her message.  Mary had done nothing morally murky.  God had given her the gift of her baby.  Mary deserved no harsh words.  She did. 

Yet, as different as they were, she could not help but feel drawn to Mary.  Mary’s life reflected some of her own fears.  Mary was rejected by Joseph at first.  Mary moved out of the area to be with her cousin, Elizabeth.  Mar thought about the stories that her great grandmother told of young women who used to simply “disappear” from town for nine months.  Though she wanted to just disappear, she would not be allowed to go anywhere.

The talk with her parents went better than she feared.  They were disappointed, but they made it clear that they loved her and supported her. 

It was Joe’s reaction that hurt.  She told him after school in the hallway as it deserted of other students.  “I’m pregnant,” she said simply.  He just stared at her for a moment and then muttered, “I just can’t,” and walked away.  A teacher had to console her in the empty hall. 

There is nothing in the world that is heavier than the feeling of hopelessness.  Mar’s therapist suggested a plant.  “Taking care of a plant can offer some sense of hope and purpose when we feel hopeless and depressed.” 

Mar put the plant in the windowsill right behind her bed.  She gave it a little water and attention; nourishment and attention that she would eventually need to give to her baby; nourishment and attention that she would rather be giving to Joe.

“He just disappeared.  He just left her in the hall and disappeared,” she cried.  She never meant to hurt him.  Her tears watered the plant.

In church, sitting next to the banner on the church wall that listed the names of all those who had been baptized in the church since its very beginning in 1864, she looked and saw her name.  Her baby’s name would soon be there as well, just a little lower.  And then she saw Joe’s name, which was near her own.  She glanced across the church at Joe.  He was sitting, stoned faced, looking forward, with his mother.  Though she tried, she did not catch his eye.

Mar listened as the preacher read the Christmas story from Matthew.  “Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:18-19).  The words thudded in the pit of her stomach.  “Divorce her quietly.”  “Quietly.”  “Quietly, leave.”  “Quietly judge.”  “Quietly abandon.”  “I just can’t.”  The words pushed tears up from her stomach and into her eyes.

“But just when he had resolved to do this,” the pastor continued reading, “an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.’ All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: ‘Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they shall name him “Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us’” (Matthew 18:20-23).

At the end of the service, she tried to catch Joe.  She needed to talk.  She needed to connect.  She needed to say how sorry she was.  He was nowhere to be found.

“God, I can’t do this!” she screamed silently out her bedroom window to the heavens that night.  “I need your help God!  Give me a sign.  Emmanuel means “God is with us.”  That is what the pastor said.  “God is with us.” 

“God if you are with me, allow a breeze to move this plant in the window.  I need to know that you are with me.  I need to know you are there!”

She stared at the plant for a full five minutes.  It did not move.  Her tears would have watered the plant had she not buried herself into her pillow and fallen asleep.

“Did Mary have to deal with all of the staring?” Mar wondered.  As her belly grew larger, her “mistake” was making its presence ever bigger, for everyone to see.  It was like she was a billboard for immorality.

During the church luncheon, down in the cold, church basement, she sat in the corner, trying not to be seen.  People’s eyes seemed to be drawn to her anyway.  They looked up from their roast beef and mashed potatoes to steal quick glances.  She saw the head shakes of disapproval.  She felt the lectures to their own children formulating in their minds.  She turned her back to them all but felt their eyes anyway.  She felt their judgment.  She felt like a freakshow.  She felt so, so alone.  Where was Joe?  She needed Joe.

Her mom and dad could not comfort her that night.  She stormed up into her room, slammed her door, and dropped onto her bed.  She looked up into the sky to pray, to plead, to see God’s presence, but her eyes fell instead on her plant.  It had withered and was laying limp over the edges of its pot.

“I can’t even take care of a stupid plant,” her scream dripped with self-hatred.  “God, how do you expect me to take care of a baby if I can’t even care for a plant?  I just can’t.”  She threw herself to her pillow.

Did Mary doubt?  Did Mary wonder if she had what it would take to raise the Messiah?  Did Mary worry about dropping the savior of the world on his head?

Mar’s questions lulled her to sleep.

“’Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.’” When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife” (Matthew 1:23-24).

Her feet hurt, her legs hurt, her soul hurt, but she still had to walk to her classes.  At the end of the day, she unloaded the books from her shoulder, another heavy burden, and put them into her locker.  As she closed the door, it revealed Joe.  He looked nervous, as if he had something to say.

“Joe, I’m so sorry…” she started.

“I know,” he broke in.  She stopped and waited for the worst.

“I saw you at church on Christmas.  I just couldn’t deal, but the pastor talked about how Joseph decided to be there for Mary and to raise the baby Jesus as his own, and how that showed he was righteous.  I guess what I am trying to say is that I am your Joseph.  You and the baby need a Joseph, and so if you are not too angry at me, I am willing to be that guy.”

It was as if an angel had come to him in a dream and spoken to him.  It was as if the Lord was listening to her cries the whole time.  It was as if the Lord is Emmanuel, meaning “God is with us!”  It was as if this forgiveness stuff was real.  It was as if God can make something good come from a situation that seems wrong and bad and terrible. 

It made Mar want to sing.  It made her want to shout for joy.  Instead, she crumpled into tears, clinging to Joe.

And she gave birth to a son.  Years ago, the Lord had plans for Mary, Joseph, and the baby.  They were plans that led to forgiveness and a promise of eternal life for the whole world.  And though probably not as grand, the Lord had plans for her, Joe, and the baby as well.

“And Mary said, ‘My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowly state of his servant. Surely from now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name’” (Luke 1:46-49).