Reflection on John 11:32-44

 

John 11:32-44

32 When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 33 When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. 34 He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus began to weep. 36 So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” 37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

38 Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.” 43 When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”

Reflection

Jesus knew.  Jesus knew that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead before he even arrived on the scene.  The Bible says that “when Jesus heard [about Lazarus’ illness],” “he stayed two days longer in the place where he was” (John 11:4 and 6).  Jesus knew that what was about to happen would be “for God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (John 11:4). He knew that Lazarus would die.  He knew that he would raise him again so that we might all believe.  He knew that those gathered around the tomb would hear his prayer to God and that they would trust in him after they saw.  Jesus knew it all.

Yet…

When Mary runs up, kneels down, and accuses Jesus of being too slow in coming to help her brother, his friend, and when she chides, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died,” Jesus does not defend himself (John 11:32).  Jesus does not say to Mary, “Just calm down woman.  There is nothing to get hysterical about.  Everything is going to be alright.  You will see.”  He says none of those things.  Rather, Jesus lets his dear Mary accuse him to his face.  He lets her break down right in front of him, joining her tears and weeping with the others gathered there.  He does not rebuke her anger, nor does he defend himself against her accusations.

And, it makes me think of the times that I accused the Lord for not getting there in time.  It makes me think of the times that I questioned why there was not healing, but rather there was death.  It makes me think of the times that I broke down, sobbing alone in the car while driving, or weeping in my office with the door closed.  I see my face reflected in Mary’s face as she accuses Jesus, because just as Jesus did not defend himself against her accusations, Jesus also chose not to defend himself against my own.  Jesus chose to simply be there for me, and with me, as I broke apart.  Sometimes, we can do nothing more than be there when someone breaks apart.  Sometimes, simply being there is the best response.

After-all, Jesus knows it all.  He knows how the story ends.  He knew how Lazarus’ story was going to end.

Yet…

When Jesus looks around at the weeping and loud laments, seeing those he loves having their heart torn apart right in front of his eyes, the Bible says Jesus is “greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved” (John 11:33).  That is what my Bible says anyway, but those who hear this story in the Greek language, hear that Jesus is “angrily groaning” in his spirit and his usual calmness has been “deeply disturbed” making him “restless.”  Somehow, the death of his friend and the emotional toll that it is taking on all of those he loves completely unsettles Jesus, making him strangely angry and deeply restless. 

And, it makes me think of all of the times, while grieving, that I have become angry at God, and the world, and the slow driver who goes 25 mph in a 40 mph down the golden mile.  Who does that? Do they not know there are people grieving out here?  Speed up!  Are you trying to make us mad? 

Jesus’ angry groans make me think of my shouts to the sky and fists to the air in utter frustration at the senselessness of it all.  Death is senseless.  Death it just takes, and takes, and takes, and does not give.  And, Jesus’ restlessness makes me think of the nights of tossing and turning, unable to find some peace.  And, it makes me think, Jesus gets it.  God gets it.  Jesus is right there, punching his fists into the air out of anger and despair with me.  Knowing the end does not make it any easier.  Jesus knows the end, but it does not make it any easier.  He gets it. 

That is right; Jesus knows the end of the story.  Jesus knows what he is going to do.

Yet…

When Jesus asks, “Where have you laid him?” searching for Lazarus’ resting place, they respond, “Lord, come and see” (John 11:34).  It is so weird.  He hears his own words coming right back at him.  “Come and see.”  These were the words he used to beckon his followers.  These were the words he used to convince people who were lost, searching for life, and light, and truth, to follow him and find that life, light, and truth.  “Come and see.” 

And, now the words are being used to beckon him toward death.  “Come and see pain.” “Come and see decay.”  “Come and see death.”  “Come and see.”  Was all of the beckoning and preaching and convincing all for nothing?  Lazarus cannot come and see anymore!  What good did the coming and seeing do him?

And, it was all too much.  “Jesus began to weep” (John 11:35).  Actual tears run down his face, even though he knows the end of the story.

And, it makes me think that the tears are OK.  The tears that still fill my eyes, years after the death, are fine and good.  It convinces me that the tears are not a sign of weakness, but are rather an expression of love made liquid.  Liquid love ran down Jesus’ face and soaked the ground just as liquid love would pour out of his side and water the earth when Jesus is pierced with a spear after his own death on the cross.  There is something healing about that liquid love that he pours on the world.  And, there is something healing about our tears.  They are a gift.  Notice, that it is only after the tears fall that Jesus is finally ready to do what he knew he was going to do all along.

And, let us not gloss over that too quickly.  It was only after the accusations, and the confusion, and the anger, and the energy draining restlessness, and the all important tears that Jesus is then ready to bring the new life; the resurrection.  All of that stuff had to come first, both for himself, and for those around.

So, if you are still there; if you are still in the accusations, and the confusion, and the anger, and the restlessness and are still consumed by the tears, if you are still in that sort of place, that is fine.  You are exactly where you are supposed to be.  Jesus has been there.  God understands.  And, Jesus’ Spirit is right there with you through it all, taking it all, and holding you through it all.  Jesus will not abandon you in any of it, because he knows the end of the story.

38 Then Jesus, again greatly disturbed, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I have said this for the sake of the crowd standing here, so that they may believe that you sent me.” 43 When he had said this, he cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth and his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” 

(John 11:38-44).

May you too be resurrected from your grief.  May you too be unbound and set free to live your life.  May you too find hope in Jesus’ promise of resurrection; even as you grieve the loss of those who now feast at the heavenly party that has no end, with Jesus Christ, our risen Lord.