Reflection on John 20:19-31

 

John 20:19-31 (NRSV)

19When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 20After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. 21Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” 22When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

24But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

26A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 27Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” 28Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” 29Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

30Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. 31But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. 

Reflection

The resurrected Jesus steps right through our locked doors.  And, I am not just talking about actual doors here.  I am also talking about those doors of life that sometimes get slammed shut when we least expect, like the closed door of future opportunities, the closed door of long imagined dreams, the closed door of our heart, or the closed door to our very soul. 

People say all the time that when one door closes, another opens.  But, I like the joke: “When one door closes and another opens, it’s time to get a new car.” 

That is probably true, but it is my experience that one door closing often leads to other doors closing as well.  The door to the job closing causes the door between husband and wife to close, which closes the door to the dream home, and the future they had imagined together…and so on.  You get the picture.  You probably have lived the picture.

You see it happening right here, in the Gospel of John.  The door of Jesus’ tomb shuts, the stone covering the smell of death lingering inside, and this causes the fearful and grieving disciples to lock their doors as well.  The Bible says, “It was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors were locked where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews” (John 20:19a). 

The death of Jesus has caused the disciples to fear their own death at the hands of the religious leaders, it causes them to lock their own doors in the face of death, and it causes them to hide behind those doors in a type of living death, caused by their grief.  Quite the opposite of the used car where someone shuts a door and it opens another, this shut door causes another shut door.

This is what happens.  This is how life plays out.  A physical death causes an emotional death.  A physical sealing of the tomb causes an emotional sealing of a tomb…and sometimes the actual locking of a door, as in the case of the disciples.  It is human nature for us close our doors, sheltering ourselves from the piercing blows of life. 

There is no blame to be placed when this happens.  No one failed to smile enough.  No one failed to be upbeat enough.  No one lost hold of their bootstraps…most of us do not even have those things attached to our footwear anymore.  No one failed to have enough faith.  Closed doors cause more doors to close.  That is life.

But, in an act of pure concern and grace, the resurrected Jesus steps right through the locked door.  The Bible says that “Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’  After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side” (John 20:19b).

Once when I was in a painful struggle with grief and doubt, one of my college professors caught me in the hall outside the lunch room and said, “I noticed you aren’t as happy as you usually are.  Are you OK?”  I talked to him about the pain caused by my grandmother’s death.  I talked to him about my doubt-filled spiritual struggles caused by my grief, and how impossibly painful they were.  I spilled it all on the floor, and after a moment of silence he looked down at the pain soaked floor and said, “That same feeling caused the worst time in my entire life.” 

Urged by Jesus to show his own wounds, he stepped through my locked door and let me touch his wounds, exploring them, comparing them with my own, and eventually finding wisdom in them.  In his story I could see my own.  And, in his metaphorical resurrection, I could envision my own.  “This is rough, but it is not the last word in your life.  Jesus has a tendency to break out of closed tombs and walk through locked doors.”

“Peace be with you,” Jesus says to the disciples as he joins them in their locked room, sharing his wounds (John 20:19b).  And, peace comes.  So much so that they rejoice when they see the Lord!  They rejoice at his resurrection!  They rejoice that death and locked doors are not the last word. 

Jesus then breathes on them the new life that is found in the Holy Spirit.  He breathes on them a Spirit-filled life that encourages them to walk through locked doors themselves.  He breathes on them a Spirit-filled life that give them the power to throw people’s sin aside in forgiveness, allowing people to start fresh and new.  He breathes on them a Spirit-filled life that brings peace and hope to those whom the disciples encounter.

I want you to notice that in the next part of the story Jesus shows up again only after the disciples tell Thomas about the resurrected Jesus.  Thomas was not there the first time Jesus defied the logic of locked doors.  But, only a week after they excitedly share the good news of Jesus with Thomas (which just happens to be on a Sunday), Jesus steps through Thomas’ shut door as well.  Jesus steps through Thomas’ closed door that screamed “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”  Jesus steps right through the door of Thomas’ locked soul, giving Thomas some of that heavenly resurrection peace.

“My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaims in response.

And, we want that too.  We want more than anything for Christ to step through the locked doors of our lives and the locked doors of our hearts with resurrection hope.  So, let us do something about it.  Let us pray for that very thing:

“Christ, we ask that you step through our locked doors also.  When our hearts are cold, step in with the warmth of your love.  When our hearts have lost the way, step in with the wisdom of your life.  When our hearts are full of sin, step in and wash them with your cleansing forgiveness.  When our hearts are in pain and are sealed off from love, step in and show us what divine love is all about.  When our hearts are alone, step in, be present with us, and show us your hands and feet.  When our hearts are broken, step in and heal them with the sealing of your resurrection power.  Step in through the locked doors of our neighbors as well.  Breathe in them the same breath of life.  Blow us into their lives with your heavenly love.  We put our total trust in you, Jesus Christ our resurrected Lord, in whose name we pray.  Amen.”