One day Peter came up to Jesus and asked him the very question that most of us ask at some point in our lives of faith: “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” (NRSV, Matthew 18:21).
After-all, it is hard to dole out forgiveness multiple times when a person keeps failing in the same way over and over again. It is hard to watch that person hurt themselves and others over and over again. It is painful even.
“Is there some point, Jesus, when we can just say enough is enough? Is there some point, Jesus, where we can stop forgiving?”
Come to think of it though, if there was a point where Jesus ever said, “Enough is enough!” to forgiving us, we would never be able to sing about the one who “saved a wretch like me.” Jesus did save a wretch like me, and a wretch like you, and a jerk like your neighbor.
Jesus tells Peter that he must forgive, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times’” (NRSV, Matthew 18:22).
After-all, that seventy-seventh time might be the one time that finally changes a person’s life.
There was a man, true story by the way, who embezzled over $70,000 from a charity that he was helping to set up. Understand, he had no intention of embezzling that money. It all started when he accidentally pulled out the wrong card to pay for a meal. He intended to pay it right back the very next day, but when nobody noticed the money missing, he just kind of let it slip. From there, it was a hotel room here, and a gas fill-up there, all of which he fully intended to pay back. But, as these things go, it got out of hand, and he started to see a total amount that needed to be paid back that far exceeded his ability to do so.
The man was caught and sentenced to two years in prison, plus fines. His generous victims who gave large amounts of their savings intended for the charity were out of luck. They had lost $70,000. Years later, the man very publicly stated that he was sorry for stealing from the charity. He asked for forgiveness, but expected to get none because, in his own words, “I wouldn’t be understanding of me. I wouldn’t forgive me.”
But, do you know what? Jesus is serious about this forgiveness thing. Jesus gives multiple chances to for people to repent and turn around their lives. Look at the instructions that he gives us, his followers, regarding attempting to provide forgiveness. If someone sins against you, you should take it up with them one on one, and hopefully they will repent and receive forgiveness.
If they do not repent, Jesus urges you to give them another shot. He says to bring someone along with when you speak to them, so that there are more people to give support to the whole situation. And, if they still do not repent and accept the gift of forgiveness, then bring the larger faith community in so that the community might be able to help bring them around.
Do you notice how in each of these circumstances Jesus urges more and more contact; more and more support surrounding the person? This is the opposite of writing off the person. Alcohol and drug interventions seem to work in this spirit. Those who love you, surround you when confronting you about your substance abuse. They are right there to be supportive as you take your first steps in a new direction toward healing.
“Forgive seventy times seven times.” Look at all of the chances that Jesus gives us to repent, receive forgiveness, and start our lives again. But, even if none of this works and we still cannot see a better way to live life, Jesus is not through with us yet.
Jesus says to treat the offending person as “a Gentile and a tax collector.” That is precisely to whom Jesus says he is sent. It is a tax collector that Jesus invites to follow him. It is the gentiles to whom the apostles are sent to baptize and teach. The person who is trapped by sin is not to be disposed and never seen again, like last night’s trash; they are to be the target of our love and the target for teaching the basics of following Jesus. They obviously need to start again.
Have you ever had to start again from scratch because the first time did not work out? When baking cookies, have you ever mistaken the baking powder for baking soda? Did you ever grab the wrong wrench set from the shop and need to go back and try again?
Sometimes, Jesus does that with us. Sometimes, we did not latch onto the faith the first time around. Sometimes our faith is like a seed that falls on rocky soil and it seems to shoot up fine, but it soon withers under the sun because the soil is too rocky.
Sometimes, Jesus just needs to start from scratch with us so that we can grow and flourish under the new love and grace that he provides. Sometimes, trees that bear no fruit need to be cut down and replanted. Sometimes, we need a reset in life. But, a reset…a restart…a replanting does not equal throwing away. Jesus’ love is too great to just give up and dispose of us. Forgiveness is too powerful to just give up.
The people who were defrauded of over $70,000 wrote to the man who wasted away their money. They responded: “Please forgive us for the years we have simply disregarded you. You deserve more. You deserved forgiveness. You deserved a second chance, and we did not give it. You are forgiven. Now, have a good night’s sleep, free from guilt.”
They followed Jesus and forgave the man the 77th time, and the man’s life changed because they did. How can life not change when the power of Jesus’ forgiveness is with you?
Jesus did save a wretch like me and a wretch like you and a jerk like your neighbor. And, this saving forgiveness changes everything.
So, as a follower of Jesus, I urge you to give it a try…really. Forgive many times over, not because they deserve it, but because Jesus has forgiven you many times over.
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