If you have been through a divorce yourself, or have experienced one as a child, or as a friend or family member, there is one thing that I do not need to do for you today. I do not need to go on and on about the pain that occurs when the one flesh is ripped back into two. You all know the pain of divorce, way too well. No one sitting here needs to hear yet another sermon about the sinful nature of divorce, or the destruction that divorce causes. No one sitting here needs me to add to the pain by being self-righteous and preachy. I have no desire to add to your pain this morning. You already know…you already know.
It is easy to hurt people while talking about divorce because religious discussions about divorce tend to be very abstract. “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” And, then we can discuss, as if it were theoretical, whether or not Moses allows it, and in what circumstances it is allowed. Can you divorce your wife for not cooking well? Maybe, you can only divorce if she is unfaithful? Maybe divorce is fine and the real problem is remarriage. You can divorce, you just cannot remarry.
But, in all of the theoretical, heady, banter back and forth we forget one important thing: real people in really complicated situations are involved in divorce. There is nothing worse than a theoretical discussion that forgets about the people.
The people. Did you know that the majority of the working poor in our nation are single mothers with children, just trying to get by after a divorce? I don’t think it is right to cast dispersions on the vulnerable. Did you know that most divorces are not mutually agreed upon? Rather, one of the two people is left feeling like their spouse has just died…trying their hardest to hold together something that is falling apart everywhere like a handful of wet noodles. Again, I don’t think it is right to cast dispersions on the vulnerable. Then, there is the cheating and the drinking and the…well, you know…you know. There will be no rocks thrown this morning. Divorce leaves a person quite vulnerable as it is.
The vulnerable.
Do you know who is vulnerable? Children. Children are vulnerable. They have no power in any adult decisions. They cannot sign legal contracts. They cannot enter unless invited. They are told not to speak unless spoken to. Children have no say if their world in turned up-side-down. They have to go where they are led, even if it is into a deep, dark pit. Children are truly vulnerable.
And no, I am not going where you think I am. You already know the effect that divorce has on children. You already know. I’m not here to pile on even more guilt. I wasn’t going there.
What I did want to mention is that Jesus welcomes the children. In a world where they have no power and they are shooed away by the disciples as unimportant, Jesus rebukes the disciples and welcomes the children. Jesus draws them near. He takes them into his arms and holds them close. Jesus snuggles the vulnerable. The kingdom of God is for the vulnerable.
And, that is what I want you to hear today. To those single parents who have struggled, counting pennies because of their divorce I have one thing to say to you, the kingdom of God is for you, the vulnerable. To those who yearn to have things the way they were back at the beginning of the relationship…when you truly felt as if the two had become one flesh…to those grieving that loss, I have one thing to say to you, the kingdom of God is for you, the vulnerable.
The entire reason that Jesus is against the one flesh becoming two again in the first place, is because it brings harm to the vulnerable. Women and children in the ancient world were abandoned, without support, when divorced. But, the image of Jesus on the cross is at the same time one of complete vulnerability…identifying with the vulnerable, and arms wide open embracing all. Jesus is about drawing all of creation together, not tearing it apart. Jesus is about protecting the vulnerable, not creating more.
I know of a Christian man named Christian ironically, who filed for divorce. He and his wife hadn’t been happy for years, and the kids knew it. He was a working dad and she was a stay at home mom, and over the years they simply drifted apart, until they were two quite different people than they were from the start. Christian thought to himself that it clearly wasn’t fair to keep his wife trapped in a loveless marriage, but he just could not imagine a good future for his wife and kids alone.
Then, one night, while tossing and turning on the couch in the office, the idea came to him. The next day, he went into his shop, grabbed some tools, took his Saws-All, and started cutting a door into the side of his house, right into the office. The office, which was practically already his bedroom anyway, would become his apartment. He could still pay for the house and food and be there for his kids, but he didn’t have to remain married to his wife. He and his wife could both have their own lives, but in this way, he would protect her and the kids from being abandoned and vulnerable. And, the idea worked. The two were no longer one flesh, but no one was left vulnerable.
Of course, I do not intend for this example to cause guilt either. I know that in many circumstances such a solution would have been impossible. Don’t worry. The kingdom belongs to the vulnerable. The only reason I tell Christian’s story is because his primary concern lined up so well with that of Jesus. He cared enough for his wife and children that they might not become sad statistics of divorce. He cared about the vulnerable, and he did something about it.
I know of one other guy who cared about the vulnerable, and then did something about it. Seeing the pain that happens when people are ripped apart from sin and strife, he went to the cross, was stripped of his clothes, was abandoned and alone. He joined in the pain of the sinful and vulnerable and spread wide his arms for all. Drawing the world back together through forgiveness and new life, Jesus took care of the vulnerable.
“Let the little children come to me.” And, that includes the vulnerable who have suffered from divorce.
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