Reflection on John 1:43-51

 

 

You See Through

by Celia Whitler and Thad Beaty

 

You see through my insecurities

You see through the one I pretend to be

You see through,

you see right through me

And you love

You love what you see

 

All those times I hold back from you

You pull me close, you touch my soul

You search for me, until you find.

To all my failures, you are blind

 

 © 1999 Celia Whitler and Thad Beaty

Dog Not Included Music, Bouleetos Music

 

Jesus already knows you, and Jesus already loves you.

Jesus is kind of like my son Isaac.  The other day when we were playing a three year old version of hide and go seek.  It was a simple game, Isaac would count to 10 or 15, depending on how high he wanted to count, I would hide, and then he would search for me. 

Normally, how this plays out is that I go hide in a relatively easy spot, like standing in the middle of the bathroom, and just as he is about to turn the corner to find me, I jump out and say “Boo!”  He shrieks and giggles.  The little guy loves being scared…and I mean he loves it.  This game between he and I can go on for hours if I would let it, even if I am simply hiding in the same spot each time. 

But, the other day he changed up the game a bit.  While he buried his face in the cushion of the recliner to count, I ran off to hide.  I changed my mind a couple of times, first hiding in the middle of the bathroom, then beside the bed, and finally I decided to go to the closet.  This turned out to be a mistake, because when I finally did back into the darkness of the closet, set to jump out at the little guy, I heard this high pitched “Boo!” from right behind me.

I jumped out of my skin and had to quickly put it back on.  Up to that point, I was quite certain nothing lived in the closet!  Nervously, I turned around to see what was going on.  There was Isaac, bent over, giggling uncontrollably.  The little twerp somehow got the best of me. 

Apparently, while I hid beside the bed, he snuck past and hid in the closet.  Who knew that having a smart child would lead to an early heart attack! 

I say smart, because somehow Isaac already knew where I would end up, so it was no surprise to him when he found me. 

And, that seems to be what is going on with Jesus as we study the start of his ministry in the gospel of John.  Jesus already knows.  Jesus already knows where we are going, so when we arrive Jesus is more than prepared to “find” us when we show up.

I want to stop right there and just reflect on that thought: Jesus finds us.  Even though we Christians sing it all the time; “I once was lost, but now am found,” I’m not sure that we necessarily think about what that exactly means. 

You see, Christians talk all the time about “finding Jesus.”  “When did you find Jesus?”  “She is searching for God.”  “That was the day I found my Lord and Savior and accepted him in to my life.” 

We Christians talk all the time about searching for God and finding Jesus, and accepting him into our lives, but John seems to be telling us that we have this all wrong.  Jesus finds us and accepts us, not the other way around.  He is already standing there in the closet when we run there to hide.

You want proof of this divine truth?  The scriptures are dying to preach it to you.  Just look right at John 1:43, it reads, “The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, “Follow me.”  There it is, clear as day, Jesus “found Philip.”  It is not the other way around.

Jesus already knew Philip, and already loved Philip, calling on him to follow.  Like I said before, Jesus already knows you and Jesus already loves you.

But, Jesus knows more than your location.  Jesus knows you.  I mean to say that he gets you.  He knows your thoughts.  He understands your motivations.  He knows you.  And, even though he knows the truth of all of that, he calls you to follow him anyway. 

Psalm 139:1-4 straight up preaches this truth right to us: 

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down,
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    O Lord, you know it completely.

As the story in John continues, we find that Jesus knew Nathanael.  Even though it was Philip (the one who was “found” by Jesus) who ran to Nathanael and told him to “Come and see,” Jesus makes it clearly known that he already knows Nathanael very well.  Before Nathanael even stops walking toward Jesus, Jesus shouts out, “Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!”  Jesus knows Nathanael.  Jesus not only saw him sitting under a fig tree just moments earlier; he knew him. 

And, very soon in the Gospel of John, a woman drawing water from a well will hear how Jesus knows her, and her entire life…including the sordid parts which have to do with her husbands and boyfriends…things that she would prefer not to air in public. 

Jesus knows everything that we hide and hold back; good, bad, and boring.  Yet, despite all that the Lord knows, to Nathanael he extends a hand as a trusted follower, and to the woman he engages in deep conversation reserved only for other esteemed men. 

Jesus already knows us, and Jesus already loves us.

My grandma died when I was a freshman in college.  You will see where this is going in a second.  After she died, I suddenly had this sinking feeling of dread.  She was in heaven with God.  I knew that, and I never doubted that.  So, that meant that she now knew everything.

Now, I do not know if you did anything as a freshman in college that you would not necessarily want your grandma to know about, but it hit me that my grandma now knew.  She knew it all.  I will let you guess at what “it all” contained; certainly it is not too much different from what “it all” contains in your life.  But, the point is that it was no longer hidden.  And, the fact that everything that I had hidden was all laid out on display for my grandma to see rocked me to my core.

And then, one day while I was in the catwalks of the college theatre, focusing lights and contemplating how one would survive a fall from such a height…my mind was wandering…it hit me out of nowhere that all of that stuff that I did not want anyone, especially my grandma, to know was never hidden in the first place.  None of it was ever hidden.  God knew it all along.  Jesus knew it all along. 

In fact, it is particularly the hidden stuff that Jesus knows about, takes on his shoulders, and drags to the cross.  Jesus had to know it all because he died to free us from the weight of all of that hidden, secret stuff. 

That is a pretty good revelation for a lighting technician up in the dark catwalks of a college theatre.  But, it was a deep revelation: Jesus already knew me…he truly knew me…and Jesus chose to love me anyway.

And, it is true for you too.  Jesus already knows you, and Jesus already loves you.  Jesus already knows the heights of your triumphs and the depths of your failures.  Jesus knows the persistence of sin on your life.  Jesus knows how you have failed to overcome.  Jesus knows it all. 

And, Jesus forgives you seventy times seven times.  And, Jesus calls out for you to follow.  And, when you are asked to come and see him, Jesus is already there, ready to let you know that he is there, even in the dark closet.  Fortunately for you, Jesus tends not to try to scare us half to death like a giggling, three year old rug rat.  Instead, Jesus is there to lead you out of the darkness and into the light of God. 

And, he does it because Jesus already knows you, and Jesus already loves you.