Can I just say this morning that I am not so sure?
Oh, I understand very well. I understand that we are supposed to forgive. I understand that it is supposed to be a lot of times.
It is supposed to be seventy times seven times…that’s 490 times. In other words, we are supposed to always forgive. I understand that completely. Actually, it is the understanding that makes me not so sure.
Certainly, I can forgive that many times for small things; like when tired parents continually forget to close the cupboard door. Not that that has ever happened in my house. I can envision forgiving that 490 times or more.
I can even forgive for a bit larger things too; like when a little child continually forgets that they are not supposed to pinch when they are mad. Not that that has ever happened over and over and over again in recent memory…yesterday.
We can all forgive those types of sins over and over again without too much problem. But what about the big ones?
A pastor friend has one of the big ones to mention. What about the man who was abusing her when she was eight years old who kept saying, “I’m sorry,” and then doing it again and again. As a young person, she was told by a pastor that she just needed to forgive, because that is what Jesus would do.
That answer strikes me as abusive in itself. In fact, in today’s world such an answer without any action would be illegal.
Could not the pastor have notified the authorities so that the abuse would at least stop. Forgiveness is not a pass for abuse to just continue. “Just forgive the guy,” she was told. That is ridiculous.
I am just allowing some space this morning to say, I am not so sure.
There is always the drunk spouse who is apologetic in the morning and asks for forgiveness each and every time. Are we supposed to forgive so that they feel validated to just keep hurting again and again without ever changing? I am just not so sure.
Jesus, is that OK? Is it OK for me to say that I am not so sure? Because, I know that this forgiveness thing is big for you. I know that you died on a cross to save and forgive all of us, even the most despicable of us.
I know, in my head, that I am supposed to forgive and forgive and forgive. Theoretically, it all sounds fine. But, when the rubber hits the road, in some cases, I am just not sure.
Of course, if we are honest with ourselves, there are things that God probably needs to forgive in us over and over again.
Am I able to ever pass up a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup when it is obvious that I probably should at this point in my life. Nope.
That is just one of those little sins, I am not going to share the bigger ones with you, though they certainly exist. What if God just decided to give up on me or you?
The promise is that God will not. You see, there was this king who just wanted to get his finances in order and was in the process of settling his accounts when encountered a debtor who falls to his knees in distress, and begs that the king forgive his debt. The poor guy owed 10,000 talents.
A talent (which is a form of currency) is worth 130 pounds of silver, which is about 15 years worth of daily wages. So, if you do the multiplication here, the man owed the king 150,000 years of labor. And you thought you had a debt problem!
But, the king forgives the debt. The king forgives the huge debt. God forgives our huge debt.
Here is the fundamental misunderstanding that we humans have about the foundations of the moral universe. We tend to believe that the moral universe is built upon a foundation of justice. When a gallon of oil is stolen, a gallon should be given back. When things are restored as they were, all is well again in the universe. That feels right, does it not?
But, the problem starts to happen when an eye is poked out. Does the universe become right again when a second eye is poked out in return?
How about a life being taken accidentally. Is the world suddenly right if another life is taken in return?
People will have different answers to both of these instances, and that very uncertainty…that very difference of opinion…starts to reveal that such a foundation to the world has major cracks and can crumble away very quickly.
An eye for an eye, in fact, is not the moral foundation supporting the universe. Instead, Jesus showed us clearly on the cross that something else is the foundation.
John 12:32 puts God’s intentions for all creation plainly, “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.”
God’s intention is that everything in the universe that has been pushed apart, might finally be drawn back together and be whole again. On the cross, Jesus opened his arms wide to gather all back together. On the cross, Jesus opened his arms wide in an act of forgiveness.
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the foundation upon which the universe is built. When everything that we have built up crumbles away and the universe is no more, forgiveness will remain, unmoved.
Since forgiveness is the foundation of our existence, since it is the ground upon which we walk, then it makes sense that the king is incensed when the man who was forgiven 150,000 years of labor refuses to forgive a fellow worker a debt worth 100 days worth of labor.
“Forgive and you will be forgiven,” Jesus says. Forgiveness is how the universe is made right once again.
So, where does that leave us? Where does that leave us in those hard, unforgivable cases?
I’ am not certain. I do not actually know.
But, here is what I do know, God cares about your hurt. God wants you to be restored to health and wholeness. God really does. But, God also wants your neighbors and your enemies to be fully restored.
Maybe, it is OK for just right now to realize that though we may not yet be able to forgive at this point in time, it is still a real possibility with God. Forgiveness is always a possibility.
Maybe, rather than trying to identify with the king who is able to forgive greatly, we can simply take some time to identify with the servant who was forgiven greatly. Maybe, we can simply take some time to let it sink in just how much we have been forgiven.
How much has Jesus forgiven you?
In fact, let us spend more time letting that sink in than the servant did. He did not let it sink in for even a minute. Unlike the servant who immediately refuses to forgive his debtor, let us hold off on the decision to forgive or not forgive those around us who have sinned greatly.
Instead, let us just take some time to focus on how we have been forgiven. I have a hunch that in time, we will get our answers to the hard cases also.
But for now, allow yourself to be forgiven, so that you may know what it is to forgive.
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