In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there
In the secret, in the quiet hour
I wait only for You
Cause, I want to know You more
I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more
- "In the Secret" by Andy Park
I am going to give James and John the benefit of the doubt here. When they ask Jesus to grant them to sit at his right and his left hand in his glory, I am going to assume that they are not necessarily seeking power and glory for themselves. I am simply going to assume that the desire of their hearts beat the words of the song printed above: "I want to know You more." I assume that they want to be close with God.
I get that. On my best days, the ones where I am not obsessing over getting an article written, or the study prepared for, or to get the groceries bought without forgetting something, I want to be close with God.
During my college years, I had sort of a mystical understanding about this getting close to God business. I reasoned, if Christ was the source of all life, and still is making all things new right as we speak, then if I am still enough, I will be able to feel him, touch him, be at one with him, know him more.
As a disciple of Christ, my main go-to activity therefore was meditation. I tried to still my soul enough that I may be at one with Christ…that I may feel that eternal peace that comes only when you rest completely in Christ’s arms. James and John, I hear you. You want to be near Christ always, to know him more? I think we all want that.
I had a friend also wanted to be close to God. We worked together scraping rust off of an old Corp of Engineers steamboat. While we scraped he talked about his desire to get closer to God.
“If I can get closer to God,” he would say, “then God will reward me and I can get out of this rust hole.”
We were literally back to back, scraping a tube full of rust.
“I know that God wants the best for me. I know that God want me to be successful in life and rich. Can you help me know God more?”
I once made the mistake of telling my coworkers that I was going to go to seminary the following year. You know how if you once changed the oil in the car for a friend, they assume you know how to swap out a fan belt or change a catalytic converter? Well, this is the pastor version of that.
There is one thing I knew for sure, I knew this guy was not going to be happy with my Lutheran church with all of our talk about the cross. He wanted glory and reward, not sacrifice and cross bearing. And, my church had a great, big, huge, 20 foot tall cross right in the middle of it.
“How about you check out that church on the edge of town, you know, the one where the pastor pulls up every Sunday morning in a Ferrari.”
Needless to say, my pastor did not own a Ferrari.
Yeah, I know, it’s easy to judge the guy, but how is his desire to know God more and get the benefit of nice things in life any different than my desire to know God more and get the benefit of peace in life. We both want something from God. We both come with hands open, expecting them to be filled properly.
“Teacher, we want you to do for you whatever we ask of you,” James and John ask, hands open…waiting to be filled.
Just a quick aside, notice that Jesus first asks, “What do you want me to do for you?” My conversations tend to go something more like this:
“Can you do something for me?”
“Sure, what do you want?”
“Good, I want you to blow up the nuclear power plant.”
"Um...well...when I said yes..."
You see what happened there. Do not do that. Follow Jesus’ lead and never, ever answer, “Sure” or “Yes” and afterward ask what they want. Ask what they want first. That is a free practical tip for you today, right from Jesus.
“What do you want?” Jesus wisely asks first.
What did they want? They wanted to be a part of God's glory. They wanted to sit at the right and to the left of Jesus on his throne. They want to be near God.
But, they do not know what they are asking. They just do not understand that they may want to go to the charlatan on the edge of town who drives a Ferrari because ahead of Jesus is a Great, Big Cross.
Christ's throne of glory? It is a cross. And, the seats to the right and to the left…they cannot have them because they have already been taken by two criminals who will die with him.
The last will be first, and the first will be last.
Greatness, being one with God, is not defined by power and glory or even eternal peace. Rather, it is defined by slavery.
Slavery, or a more holy way to put it: service. Serving those things and people that God cares about. Serving the hungry. Healing the mentally ill. Caring for the children. Loving the total mess up. Forgiving the sinner. Getting down and dirty with those whom most people in polite company would simply push away. Dying for those same lowly people on a cross, that is glory.
Do you want to be close to Jesus? Then go find him hanging out with those he cares about the most: those who are at the lowest of the low.
That is where Jesus found me anyway. The most defining part of my faith life was when I was at my lowest. When I was in doubt. I was literally balled up in the corner of the kitchen, unable to believe in a God that makes any sense, and in that moment of personal darkness, Jesus spoke to me through some scripture. I was given the prayer from scripture that gave me hope. The prayer goes like this, “I believe, help my unbelief.” And, in that prayer, Jesus came, and raised me.
Searching for Jesus? Number one, Jesus tends to find us rather than us finding him. However, if we were to go looking I am willing to bet that Jesus, in his glory, would not be found by looking up in the glorious places. You would more likely find Jesus by looking down.
Jesus is found where there is suffering. No Ferrari for Jesus. Only acts of love for lowly ones.
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