When you watched him pray alone in his corner of the garden, sweat running down his face, you knew that what was being said really mattered. When you watched him pray, his eyes were open, staring intently; like he actually expected an answer. When you watched him pray, you saw a trusting child talking to his loving Daddy.
“I want that,” the disciple must have thought looking at Jesus’ relationship with his Father. “I want to pray like that.”
When Jesus had returned from praying the disciple asked, “Lord, teach us how to pray.”
This desire for genuine prayer is a thirst that has lingered dryly for thousands of years. We still hear parched souls pleading, “How do you pray?”
A pastor was stunned when a prominent and (by all outward appearances) faithful member walked up after worship and said, "I have really enjoyed the sermon series you and the other pastors have given on prayer. And I really feel called to pray more. The only problem I have is that I just don't know how." (Michael Foss, Power Surge)
The pastor was again stunned when a pastor walked up after a conference that stressed the importance of prayer in any ministry and remarked, “You are assuming," he said, "that we pastors know how to pray. But many of us don't." (Michael Foss, Power Surge)
“How do we pray?” What a silly question thought a five year old girl with pigtails when she was asked by her Sunday School teacher. “You open your mouth and talk,” she said intelligently as she colored her picture of Jesus praying by the rock.
She’s right. Prayer is nothing more than conversation with God, and this simple answer has come out of my mouth many times when people have asked me how to pray. “Just open your mouth and talk.”
But, in giving this answer I think that I have let a lot of people down because I think that I answered the wrong question. People really do know how to pray. We really do understand that prayer is simply conversation with God. The problem is the same problem you have when you try talking about something extremely interesting and intelligent with Uncle Frank who is your Father’s cousin’s uncle’s grandfather, and whom you’ve just met and are now stranded with alone on the back porch. What do you say? You don’t know this man. You wouldn’t share your deepest needs with the guy. So, you talk about dumb stuff like the lawn and the hornet’s nest in the attic. The problem is that you don’t yet trust the man. And, when we ask, “How do I pray?” I think we are actually asking this much deeper question; we are actually asking, “How do I trust?” “How do I get into a deeper relationship with God?” This is not a question that can be answered through a flippant remark from a five year old girl with pigtails. But, it is a question she does know the answer to. Children inherently know how to trust very well, so it is not surprising that Jesus answers with a very childlike answer.
“When you pray, say: Daddy, let your name be holy. Send us your kingdom. Give us food everyday. Forgive our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us. And, please do not test us.” Every child trusts that their parents will give them a stable home (send us your kingdom). Every child trusts that their parents will feed them (give us food everyday). Every child trusts that they can mess up big time and still be loved (forgive us our sins). Every child fears having their love being put to the test (do not bring us to the time of trial).
How do we pray? How do we trust God? Jesus answers, “just try it, and you will not be disappointed.” “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you,” he promises as incentive to try.
But, this is not an easy thing to do for many of us. Trust is an act of courage. Faith is an act of courage. We don’t know how it will turn out. We aren’t in control of the results. Trusting someone else means that ultimately, we are not the shapers of our own lives. But, that’s the whole point of prayer, isn’t it. We are not in control. The world isn’t ours to conquer. Our lives are not our own. Our lives were purchased with a price, the death of God’s own Son. Our lives are not our own. You are owned by God. You are God’s precious child. True prayer does not allow us to take that fact lightly. So, Jesus urges us to take a few steps back in maturity and do what children do so well; trust our heavenly daddy.
Because she believes that trusting our heavenly father is so essential to life, Catherine Foote helps children who have suffered under abusive fathers pray to their very different, loving heavenly father through this prayer:
Daddies hold their babies,
daddies hold them soft.
Strong daddy arms
hold babies up
and gentle is the hold.
Daddies laugh with babies,
daddies smile with love.
Warm daddy eyes meet new eyes
and easy is the laugh.
Daddies care for babies,
keep them covered safe.
Big daddy hands reach baby hands
and tender is the care.
Daddies and their babies,
eyes and arms and smiles and love.
Then a daddy hurt a baby
Baby cold with fear,
Baby crying new tears,
Baby frightened, lost.
No more smiles for baby,
No more shelter here.
And God, they call you Daddy,
God, they say you care.
Do you hold your babies?
Do you dry their tears?
Do you match them smile for smile?
Do you shelter safe?
God, that daddy stole your name.
God, that daddy made me mad.
God, I want a daddy back
(daddies hold their babies).
God, please daddy me.
Amen.
(Survivor Prayers: Talking with God about Childhood Sexual Abuse, pp. 44-45)
We all need our heavenly daddy. We all want our heavenly daddy. That’s why we ask the question, “How do we pray?” in the first place. So, how do we pray? It takes courage to trust God. But, Jesus promises that when we “ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
All Scripture quotes are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyrighted, 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A., and is used by permission. All rights reserved.
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