Reflection on John 20:19-31

 

There is so much that is surprising about Jesus’ resurrection appearance to his disciples, who remain shut away from the world out of fear. 

Jesus appears despite the doors being locked. 

Jesus breathes on them the Holy Spirit. 

Jesus gives them the ability to forgive sins, a job relegated to God alone previously. 

But, of all of the surprises, the one that caught me and stopped me dead in my tracks was Jesus showing his healed wounds to his disciples. 

Though we have seen countless images of Jesus showing his wounds to Thomas in art throughout the years, and heard the story countless times, it struck me just how utterly disgusting this is.  I cannot tell you the number of times that people have said to me, “Pastor, do you want to see my wounds?”  And, I politely reply, “It is fine with me if you just describe it, really it is fine.”  And, then they raise the pant leg or lift the shirt anyway!  We do not need to see it in order to pray for it.  And, I imagine that this scene with Jesus could come across the same way.  Thomas wanted to see the scars, but no one else in the room signed up for this show. 

Obviously, some people like to show off their scars, but I think the majority of us prefer to hide them.  They are disgusting, and we are ashamed. 

How many of us share our deepest wounds with others?  How many of us share the time we were on the point of suicide; or share the time when we were out of control on a substance; or share the time we acted recklessly in the car; or share the time we were out of control, anger dripping from our lips at our children, and they were afraid; or share the time we hurt ourselves instead of healing ourselves?

You see what I mean?  In shame, we hide our wounds.  In shame we hide our failures. 

I knew of a woman who was an outstanding citizen within her community.  She was the model soccer mom, she served on the school board, she threw the kids a yearly end of school party, she was at all the games, she was a super mom.  The one weird thing about her was that she always wore these stylish long sleeved shirts.  It could be one hundred degrees out, and she would still wear these flowing, long sleeved shirts. 

One day while putting away some supplies overhead at her church, one of the sleeves exposed her arm and for a brief moment, one of the church members saw on her arms the distinct scars left from substance abuse.  The church member said nothing, so as not to embarrass her.  We hide our scars.

But, here is the thing, in hiding those scars, in hiding those failures, we also hide the healing that Jesus gave us.  A scar, after-all, is a healed wound.  But, too often, the shame of the scar is just too great.

Do you want to hear something shameful?  How about the government putting you to death in a very public way on a cross, with your clothes stripped from you, while leaders of the community spit at you and taunt you; as passersby going into town gawk at your exposed body? 

People do not parade wounds like that.  I have not even shared with anyone the one time during my entire elementary school career that I accidentally soiled my pants on the bus.  I tried to hold it, I really did, but our bus ride was 45 minutes long.  It was shameful.  It left a small scar.  You are the only people to hear about it.  You might be saying, “I didn’t ask to hear it!”  We hide our shame.  We hide our embarrassment.  We hide our scars.  Yet the Bible says this about Jesus appearance to his closest followers: 

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side.

And again, a week after Thomas shouts out “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” the Bible tells us: 

Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.”

It seems that for Jesus there is no shame in wounds; quite the opposite.  Somehow, sharing his deeply shaming wounds with others brings along with it peace and healing.  And, in my experience anyway, we all need that sort of healing.

Remember that church member who saw the scars on the arm of that upstanding woman, revealing a past of substance abuse?  It must have been God’s work that the sleeve exposed her arm that day, because months later that same church member opened the front door to find a granddaughter standing there.  She looked terrible.  The granddaughter said she had nowhere to go.  She had no bridges that she had not burned.  The church member looked at her arms, and the same wounds were on the granddaughter’s arms, except these were fresh.

The church member took in her granddaughter, but agonized day and night over her as the granddaughter struggled to keep clean, struggled to keep a job, struggled to tell the truth, and finally struggled with the will to live.

The church member kept coming back to those hidden scars on the arms of that upstanding woman in the community.  The church member invited the woman over for dinner.

It was an awkward meal.  The church member and the woman talked about church matters, all while the granddaughter slumped on her side of the table, eating in silence.  But, it was not long before the upstanding woman saw the wounds on the granddaughter’s arms.  The church member saw when it happened.  At first it was a quick glance while they were talking, then it became a real look as the realization sank in of what she was seeing.  You could tell the upstanding woman was considering something.  Finally, the woman turned her body toward the granddaughter and said, “I recognize those.”  Then she pulled up her sleeve, revealing her own scars.  “It does get better, dear.  God can heal those wounds.  Look, God healed mine.  Life does get better.”

The upstanding woman did exactly what her savior had done, she exposed her healed wounds.  She showed her wounds and pointed a way beyond the shame to healing.  Years before, Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit of forgiveness upon her, healing her, and now she revealed those wounds of healing and hope to this girl who desperately needed to see.

Jesus said, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.”

In Jesus’ kingdom, scars are not disgusting.  In Jesus’ kingdom, scars give hope.  They bring belief.  They are proof that Jesus still heals and still gives new life.  Just look at his hands.  Just look at Jesus’ scars and see that he is the Lord who can overcome all.  Just look at his hands.

Just look at your hands.  Everyone’s hands look different.  Some hold the greasy stains of hard work and daily struggle.  Some hold the healed wounds that come from broken bottles.  Some hold the healing photo of the one who died.  Some hold the healed wounds of disagreement and hard-heartedness.  Some hold the dark, healed bruises of abuse.  Everyone’s hands look different, and everyone’s hands hold scars. 

But, what the Bible is trying to preach to us is that Jesus did not put his hands in his pockets.  He did not buy designer gloves to cover them up.  Instead, Jesus chose to show up in that fear stricken room where the disciples were frozen in fear, he stretched forth his hands, and he intentionally showed his healed scars to the scared and disoriented disciples. 

The message that we desperately need to hear is not that our imperfections are something shameful, to be hidden so as not to entice death.  Rather, we need to hear the message that in Jesus Christ wounds are overcome. 

Death does not get to win the day.  Shame does not get to control one’s world.  Rather, the good news of Jesus Christ is that our shame is healed and overcome in his death and resurrection.  The scars become a part of who we are, just as they became a part of Jesus’ saving work.  The healing that Jesus brings us becomes a vital part of our faith story. 

“Jesus said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’” 

Do you not you see?  Thomas can believe because he sees the healed wounds.  How many people feel alone in their struggles all because they have never been shown the healed wounds that Jesus provides?  How many people are stuck in the past, staring at gaping wounds that could have been healed long ago had someone shared their own healed wounds with us? 

Your wounds are a part of your story.  It is OK.  Nobody’s story is perfect.  We are humans.  We are not gods.  And the scars that prove you have been healed are what make you a part of Jesus’ story of redemption.  Jesus has brought you healing.  Jesus has made you whole.  Jesus has redeemed you from sin and death.  The scars prove it.

So, do not fear showing those healed scars.  You never know who Jesus will bring your way, whose wounds are still bleeding and in need of healing.  You never know who Jesus will bring your way so that they can hear the good news of new life and second chances through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ our Lord.