“I healed a man’s foot, John; a foot…you know that thing you need to get the necessities of life, work, water, food…I healed that,” James sneers.
“So, you know how to scrape off a little foot fungus…big deal. There’s a guy out there that can see because of me. He can see. The guy was so happy that he gave me a tip of three talents,” retorted John.
“I fed someone.”
“Shut it Tim,” John and James sing in unison. “You tried for bread and got a hand full of Cheerios. We already know how great you are.”
Peter stopped the group of disciples in their tracks with one hand, turn and faced them. “I can’t believe you. Look at you. Listen to you. There is one thing that Jesus said that makes this discussion of greatness idiotic, he called me the rock upon which the church will be build.”
And with that, the group exploded into angry conversation, one-ups-man-ship, and even the occasional fist. As the group fought and walked, fought and walked, the blind along the road heard them, but were not ever seen by the disciples. As the fists started flying, the hungry watched, but clung to their rumbling stomachs which held no hope of restfulness. As the disciples imagined glory for their great works, a little girl stepped out in front of them seeking help for her mother, but she was accidentally tripped over and pushed aside. It was not until they approached Jesus that their helium filled heads started coming out of clouds. Jesus stared at them and they went silent.
“What were you arguing about?” Jesus demanded.
Regressing back to his elementary years James ventured a meek “nothing Lord,” but the silence was too thick. It did not even make it past his larynx.
Jesus ripped the silence apart saying, “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.”
Again, there was an uneasy silence. Their selfish ambition left a metallic taste in their mouth. For the first time in a while, their desires fell from their eyes like scales and they realized that they had no idea how they had gotten to where they were and who they passed by on the way.
If James, Jesus’ brother, had been traveling with them he might have instructed them:
"For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind…Those conflicts and disputes among you, where do they come from? Do they not come from your cravings that are at war within you? You want something and do not have it; so you commit murder. And you covet something and cannot obtain it; so you engage in disputes and conflicts."
I would love to say that I am not like these disciples and that I often follow James instruction to wisely make peace, be concerned about others and not oneself, and in his own words to follow the wisdom from above which is “pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy." In other words, care for others before yourself.
But, I have been on that playing field at recess and I know what it feel like when the class loser…I’m sorry “socially challenged”…kid is chosen before you. In your mind you are thinking, “isn’t that nice and compassionate.” But in your heart you are seething, “what am I the new class clown? I can kick that ball further than all of you! I’ll show you!” And, the class looser soon discovers that he is still at the bottom as you humiliate him once again to prove your greatness.
There are these desires within us that do not come from above but raise up from below. The need to be right, even when you may be wrong. The need to look good in front of others and prove your worth, even though you may deserve to look bad. The inability to look at your mistakes and the tendency to cover them by pointing out everyone else’s, even though your mistakes are many. The striving for the top, even though you leave everyone else behind. Seeing what you want, and murdering in order to get it. These desires are from below. These are gut desires, and they are powerful.
“Shame on you,” I could yell from the pulpit. “I know what you did,” I could accuse. “I know what you think,” I could venture. But, you would be able to do the same to me, and it would be a worthless waste of energy as we tried to climb our way over one another. Jesus is not interested in wasted energy. Jesus is not interested in wasted anything. Avoiding a fight to the top, Jesus sits down with his disciples and lays out a simple truth, "Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all."
This is opposite advice from what I received when I graduated from High School. As I was leaving home to be on my own I was given this advice from a teacher, “make sure you care for yourself, because no one is going to do it for you.”
Jesus disagrees. In the kingdom of God (the kingdom of love that resides right here on earth) you will care not for yourself, but for someone else. You are safe to do this because there will be someone who will be doing the same for you. It is counter intuitive, but does it not somehow feel right? It does not seem logical, but do we not know that it is right. “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.”
In God’s kingdom, each of us are fully gifts to one another. Like the great Redwood trees of California, we depend on each other in order to survive. Our roots are locked together and we hold each other up. If we were to ever sever our roots and care only for our own self, we would surely topple over. The wisdom from above says, care for someone, and you will be cared for also.
I heard of a mother in Africa who was taking in the sickest of people from around. They held communicable diseases that would make most people turn and walk the other way. She was approached by a reporter who informed her that this was not safe, she should not being doing this because it puts her own health at risk. The woman looked and the reporter and replied, “I am careful. Besides, someone needs to care for them. That person is me. And when I get sick, someone will be there to care for me.”
It defies logic, but it somehow seems right. It is the way of love. It is the way of the cross. It is the way of God.
All Scripture quotes are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyrighted, 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A., and is used by permission. All rights reserved.
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