Reflection on Matthew 18:15-20

 

Jesus does not give up on us. 

That is the impression I get when I hear the steps that Jesus tells us to use when someone who follows Jesus has done something wrong or offensive to us.  Jesus says that we need to first go to that person and point out whatever was wrong or offensive.  If that does not work, go confront them with another person or two.  It that does not work, let the church (a lot more people) engage in the problem.  And, if that does not work, finally you get to treat them as you would a Gentile and a tax collector.  We will get into what that last one means in just a little bit.

But, as you see, Jesus has a whole list of things to do in order to make things better between two people.  And, Jesus’ list makes me wonder if Jesus understands how people actually function. 

In my experience, when someone has wronged me, my action plan does not really bear much of a resemblance to Jesus’ plan.  Here is my list of steps: 

1.    Do not talk to the person, so as to punish them with the weight of your silence.

Who goes and talks to the person, Jesus?  Is it not better to simply ignore them and allow the problem to simply go away?  Besides, if we ignore first, the person may bend and buckle under the weight of our non-interaction.  But, if that does not work, there is step two: 

2.    Talk about the problem to someone who is not the person. 

I cannot tell you the amount of times a third party, who has nothing to do with the situation, has enthusiastically taken my side after I have told them what has happened.  There is nothing better in the world.  Why talk to the person when you can talk about the person?  And, if the conversation is over a martini and some cheese, even better.  You have no idea how good and freeing it feels to talk behind someone’s back and let it all off of your shoulders.  But, if that does not resolve things, there is step three: 

3.    Get even more people mad at the person.

Do you know what is better than having one or two people joining with you in your anger?  Having a whole community join with you in your anger!  There is nothing like the bond that forms between people when sharing hatred for a measly soul.  Now, I know most of us do not work with hay, so this part of the step might require a special purchase, but pitchforks work marvelously with this step.  The person will never cross you again.  And, if even this step does not work then try this one last thing: 

4.    Convince everyone to write them off as a person.

I cannot express to you just how effective can be this action.  When the waitress at the restaurant refuses to bring out the correct pie for this person, mixed with the clerk who cannot get the till to ring up the product for this person and this person only, combined with the DMV worker whose computer always goes down when this person arrives at the window, this problem child will soon find another community in which they can live.  It works every time.  Just treat them like dirt and they will crumble apart like dirt.

As good as this approach feels, and as much justice as it seems like is being served; I just want to point out one thing: at no point in this course of action does anyone even come close to participating in a little thing called love.  Of course, love is not the point in this course of action.  Hatred and anger is the food being devoured.  It is a messy meatball of hatred and anger that starts to roll and pick up more people along the way, until someone, or everyone, is destroyed in the process.  Certainly, the targeted person is destroyed.

Here is the problem: sometimes we end up destroying someone who did not even deserve the punishment.  How many people have ended up with life sentences for crimes that they did not commit, all because the hatred and anger was allowed to grow? 

How many best friends have ended their relationships all because there was a simple misunderstanding and no one even tried to check to see if there was any truth to the accusations? 

How many people who desire nothing but forgiveness have been denied that sort of love because the path of anger and hatred is so much easier than trying to love and forgive? 

How many families and friends and communities have been fatally torn apart because of a refusal to let the anger subside?

There is a reason that Jesus teaches that we cannot continue to be angry.  Jesus teaches in Matthew 5:22:

^“But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire.”

Now, when Jesus talks about being angry here, he is talking about being continually angry.  He is talking about feeding the anger and growing the ball of anger and hatred. 

All of us get angry.  That is just being human.  We get angry and then after 20 minutes of stepping away from the situation, the anger subsides.  You cannot stop becoming angry.  Jesus is not talking about that.  But you certainly can stop the ball of anger and hatred that slowly includes more and more people from growing.  A better translation of what Jesus means is: “If you are continually angry with a brother or sister…you too will be liable to the hell of fire.”  That is what Jesus is trying to say.  Creating a life of anger and hatred is creating a life of hell, for both you and the person you have grown to hate.

We too easily give up on other people, but Jesus does not give up on us.  Jesus went to the cross in order to save us from eternal anger.  Jesus pulls us up from the grave and brings us into new life after a life of darkness.  Jesus does not give up on us. 

God is a God of mercy.  God is a God who forgives and gives second chances.  God is a God of truth and love.  God is a God whose Spirit gives us the power to forgive whoever we want whenever we want. 

Jesus does not give up on us, and, Jesus hopes and prays that we will not give up on one another. 

So, rather than following my course of action, as great as it is, Jesus has another course of action that we can try.  And, it looks a lot like going to the person who hurt you or offended you.  Because, how can two people possibly forgive each other if they are not even willing to talk? 

Jesus does not give up on us.

Now, if the person does not see how they wronged you, if they just dig in their heels and justify themselves, then Jesus urges us to try again.  We go and talk with them with one or two other people along with for support…to be calm middle people.  Maybe, a small group of trusted friends will be able to help resolve the situation in a way that looks a lot more like love than hatred.

This is how alcohol and drug interventions work.  The family gathers with the person and lets them know that they are loved and that they have a whole support network of people who can help, if they can just admit to themselves that they have a drug or alcohol problem.  This is all done so that the person might think to themselves, “If all of these loving people can see my problem, maybe, just maybe it might be true.”  The person is going to need all the forgiveness they can get to turn things around, and they literally see those forgiving faces standing nearby.

Jesus does not give up on us.

And, if this fails, you do the same sort of intervention with the whole church.  The whole church gathers with words of truth, love, forgiveness, and support.  And, if this still fails to turn the person to seek forgiveness, then Jesus tells his followers to treat the person “as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

Did you notice how Jesus just does not give up?  Did you notice how Jesus tries over and over again to allow forgiveness to shape the person?

I know, I know.  Some of the cleverest of you are thinking, “But does not Jesus give us permission to give up if they do not turn from their ways?  Jesus gives us permission to treat the person ‘as a Gentile and a tax collector.’” 

It might appear that way, but never forget that Jesus does not give up on us.  Maybe, we give up on Jesus and the ways of his kingdom, but Jesus does not give up on us.

And here is my proof right from scripture.  I ask you, “Upon whom does Jesus want us to focus our ministry?”  Jesus does not ask us to spend all of our time with the righteous, the rich, the well balanced, and those who are friendly to us.  In fact, there was this one time where “many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with [Jesus] and his disciples.  When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’”  Jesus replies, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick” (Matthew 9:10-12).

Sometimes, I wish that Jesus would have focused on only those who are good.  Once when my dad, who was a pastor, was having disagreements with certain disruptive members of his congregation, he was offered, as a joke, to buy a nearby church that had closed.  “That way it would be your church,” he was told. “You can invite only the people you want to be in the pews!  Plus, the building is cheap!” 

As enticing as the offer was, and it was enticing, the idea was not Christian.  The idea looked nothing like the church of Jesus Christ.

In the kingdom of heaven, Jesus never gives up on us.  When Jesus tells us to treat someone who has fallen away from all that is loving and good, Jesus is not telling us to push them away as if they were a cancer, instead Jesus is asking us to invest more time into their lives, so that they might learn again what a life of being loved and forgiven might look like. The cross of Jesus is the symbol that reminds us daily that Jesus does not give up on them, and Jesus does not give up on us.

Jesus does not give up on you.  You are a child of the most high.  You too can face the truth without a need to dig in your heels.  Jesus died for you, and for me, and we can rest in the truth that Jesus forgives us.  Jesus does not let us go.  Jesus does not give up on us.